Ex has that monkey on his back

So yesterday I found something amusing. The ex who I was involved with the longest and is possibly my reasoning for having such a fucked up, jaded view on love, has that monkey on his back that he can't get rid of. Most of you may say I'm going to hell for this, but I found the shit hilarious.

Before you go getting all judgmental on me, I'm not saying this because of the crap we went through. We were an on again off again couple because I apparently had a large case of stupid for five and a half years. During our off again points, he made very stupid choices. He had at least two HIV scares that he told me about.

Pause. Understand, I don't discriminate against HIV people, but ain't neither of us going bareback if I know you have it. We wrapping that shit up completely and utterly. Thanks, but I enjoy living.

Back to the story, so this fuckwad always let these guys go in bareback knowing that they had this disease. A disease, by the way, that killed his father while he was about 12 years old. He always says he misses his father and has made several attempts to kill himself. Didn't think he'd elect to really go this route originally, but then again, I shouldn't be surprised.

Sad part, he's on dating sites. Sure, it states clearly that he's positive, but damn.

Pause. I also gave this idiot 32 suggestions on ways to successfully kill himself. I believe this was one of them. Took the bitch four years to take my advice.

Seriously, though. I need people to actually give a fuck about themselves and their bodies. We only get one body in this life. You don't necessarily have to exclude these people. Hell, they need love like no one else. But don't kill yourself in the process. And if you know someone who's died from the disease, why would you take this risk? Would your loved one really want you to die the same way they did? I don't really get it, but seriously, you get what you put out there. If in this great world of fuckery the one thing you desire is to catch that aids, you will.

Lame niggas and what makes them lame as fuck

I'm sure you know some, been around a few, or you are one. If you are one, please swerve. These are the people you'd like to see give up their fucking life force simply because they're blithering morons. I can't stand a bitch-made lame nigga. Fucked up part is that I know at least two to four of these ingrates in my so-called "family," one of which is in his forties and the other which is pushing forty. So, to clear this whole thing up, I'll be using examples of the fuckery they bring.

•  My uncle is the perfect embodiment of a what a lame is. This selfish bitch-ass nigga is pushing 45, has been out of prison after serving nearly 90% of his sentence since 2004, but yet he still cannot seem to get his fuckin' shit together. Seriously, the only things on this fuckwad's mind are where he can find some weed, can you buy him a fifth, and how much of his food stamps are you willing to buy so he can keep his phone on. 

• Mind you, he has a whole six year old son he only has to pay one buck (yes, you read that correctly- four quarters) in child support for to his ratchet-ass basic bitch of a baby mama and he can't even do that. That's only ten dimes your ass has to scrape up every month, do you know how fuckin' fortunate you are in comparison to these other bum-ass niggas not taking care of their kids? My grandmama buys this little dude Christmas gifts, school clothes, church clothes, Easter outfits, school supplies but not one damn thing I listed has ever come from this bitch boy since the kid was born. Nigga didn't even show up to the baby shower and was nowhere to be found 'cause he keeps his ass in and outta jail over the dumbest of fucking warrants. Who went both times? Yup, gram and yours truly because well, the kid needs some sorta positive male influence in his life so he doesn't end up like his punk-ass daddy before he hits fifth grade. That's only the tip of the iceberg with this bitch: this thieving-ass nigga gives zero fucks about who he does wrong, as long as he gets something out of it since his only goal in life is for a woman to take care of his sorry ass since his soul mate got her big ass smart, moved on, got married, and ain't looked back since. I'm almost sorry I hooked 'em up. Must be the weather.
• And talk about a whole bitch-type. Ho ass nigga steals from everyone he shacks up with and gets butthurt when confronted about it, knowing full well his ass in in the wrong.

 Now that brings me to this other lame.

•  My cousin, and I'll just refer to this buster as Elmo the Emo Bitch since he complains about everything 24/7/365 and needs to hurry up and slit his goddamn wrists. This is an example of a fuck nigga who projects his fuck nigganess (sue me, I know it ain't a word) onto other fuck niggas. Only thing he has on my uncle is that he's trying to get his shit together but still acts like a whole bitch. Now seven years ago, this bitch comes fresh out of a California prison. Prior to then, I don't really know much about the fuck or remember shit about him other than he came and got me from some old lady's house when I was four or five and brought me home. Now I'm getting off track, so let's resume. 
• This emo nigga fucked his own life up, but with him, it's not his fault. He's the victim. It's everyone else that's wrong if you let this sumbitch tell it. Bitch can't get along with hardly nobody in this so-called family, that's his fucking problem. How in the actual green fuck is a relationship with one's own mother bipolar? Ugh, maybe I won't ask but moving on. This prick has the most blatant case of an Oedipus complex. It's so obvious yet no one except me will come out and say it because if I didn't know any better, everyone in this family except for a few act like they're terrified of him. Why, you ask? 
• Okay, about six years ago, this fuckwit got butthurt over something or another and decides it'd be a good idea to go simulate Yahweh talking to Moses while everyone's sleeping. In short, he goes and burns a bush belonging to one of my aunties at their house late at night. Fortunately, someone saw him and he served a bit of time over that then moves to another state to find work.
• Around 2008-2009, he brings his monkey ass back, convinced that mommy's behind the dismantling of his life. Boo-fucking-hoo, who gives a shit? Fuckwad can't get along with anyone he stays with, yet he's convinced it's not his fault. Stayed with my mom and he got outta line, so one of my bio bros pulls a gun on him. If you asked me, nigga should've pulled the trigger. Would've done the emo bitch a favor if he had killed him. Can't even get along with his own brother, who he almost cost his job 'cause he kept coming back late with his car and offending his wife. But of course, it's 'cause they can't handle his charming personality.
• You know that list of people this dickwad can't get along with? Obviously, you can add me to that list of people this bastard likes to antagonize. Frankly, he swears up and down his label as a "bully" is false when I've experienced the shit first-fucking-hand. Bullies are also lames, so thank you, emo biatch, for further marking yourself as a lame-ass nigga. Of course, he's had to learn a few times not to fuck with me the hard way, because I can get personal. I mean, make-a-nigga-hate-me-for-all-eternity personal.

There's other breeds of lame-ass fuck niggas, but these two and their fuckery came to mind on this one. The irony about these two is that one calls the other a bitch when they're both pussies. Yeah, 'cause only a real nigga would either steal from your own mother or cuss her out like a petulant child when you don't get your way. It's sad as fuck that niggas such as these continue to breathe my oxygen and I'm gonna sign off with telling you niggas that hit rock bottom not to stay there, but to climb and scrape your ass back to the top. If you got responsibilities, be a man and step your lame ass up. Otherwise, stand aside for real motherfuckers.

Bullshit Family Members

It's a video blog, partially to experiment, and mostly because I don't fucking feel like typing. Watch it, comment here on youtube, wherever. By the way, got a youtube channel just for this shit now.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFZ1PTa1CUOU-rKPdmNJltg

50 feet nigga, damn part 2

Ok to continue on fuijin's post, these dudes are getting absurd. I cannot express this enough. If I don't know you and ain't with you pet names should not be used. So I had one riding my nuts talking about he wanted to get to know me and then he asks if I want friendship or a hookup. Now I'm all for a jump off so let's get it. But he riding my dick way too hard. Nagging the shit outta me. Then this nimrod says he doesn't have a place and we can do it in my car at the park.

Pause. Nigga what? Who in the fuck is about to do that? Understand I have my own but I'm not about to bring him there. He's a jumpoff who had the audacity to call me baby. The fuckery in that is beyond belief when I just started talking to this idiot. So no, I'm not about to bring this bitch to my home. Who the fuck invites potential stalkers to their place of residence? Not I.

Now, this dude has been on my nuts for two days. Seriously, nigga, take a hint and shut the fuck up. Leave me alone. You had my google talk number and now you get the disconnect recording. It's google talk, fuckwad. Those numbers don't get disconnected. I blocked you, numbnuts. Now stop trying to reach me.

Then there's this other problem. Dudes old enough to be my father or grandfather.

Pause. Why in the actual blue fuck are you on any kind of dating or hookup site if you're over 40? You are literally someone's grandfather. Sometimes people just put 69 for their age as a bit of a joke, but they're really in their 20s. No, I ran across one who was literally 69 years old. The fuckery squared. Who in the fuck told your old ass it was ok to be on a hookup site? And in a fucking cowboy hat and leather chaps? Ugh, my eyes. Take your old ass on somewhere.

Another one was like 46 or some shit like that. He looked about that age and he was ugly, and wants to hound me to open my private pics. Now, understand these pics are really just my face. I'm not showing the goods because it's not necessary. but this mutha fucka sent me like three messages talking about open my pics. Uh, no, I ignored you for a reason. You're old and ugly.

I can go on and on but I need these old fucks to understand, I fuck people my age. You know, people I don't expect to die of a heart attack three seconds after we're done.

I need young fucks not to lie. You say you're looking for friendship and LTR, but in reality, you want dick and ass just like everyone else. Be real. Oh, and stop fucking calling yourselves thick. I can see man titties, fat ass. That means you're fucking fat. Thick is a term that needs to stop being used cuz you fatty fat fat fuckers just keep abusing it. You're not thick. You are fat. Matter of fact, most of you are beyond fat. You're gargantuan. Enormous. fatty fatty 2x4 can't fit through the kitchen door. Get it. You're fat. Man titties so big your fat ass would be in a D cup in bras. The fuck? Get yo fat ass off my goddamn page. 

Oh, and niggas talking about you're straight on a gay site, please kill yourself. You're gay or bisexual, you simpleton fuck. It's really that simple. I'm not saying you can't like both, but you cannot use the term straight but be on a gay site. Also, to the morons that say you on there to find someone to light up with and match, kill yourselves twice. What the fuck are you looking for that on a gay sight for? Oh, cuz you want dick and ass, just like everyone else on the damn site. You stupid cumbucket. 

In closing, please miss us with the dumb shit on what is really a hookup site dumb ass. And learn your fucking role. If i bother to speak to you on such a site, you are never to be more than a jump off. you useless fuckwad

50 feet, nigga, damn. (Part 1)

If you read the end of the title, you'll know this is a two part blog because Dre has his own piece to speak when he finds the time. My case, in recent days, is the fuckery of people who think they're in a relationship with you when you start talking to their ass and you find one another interesting. I know some of y'all feel me on this. I can understand conversing about sex, but I'm talking about the folks who act like they own your ass and ain't even met you if you're using dating sites or texting. Call themselves checkin' you, be asking you all kind of fucking questions that a boyfriend or girlfriend would ask and callin' you pet names and shit. Once again, I know you motherfuckers feel me on these bitches that try to put pressure on your ass to get with them. These are the type of people who put up red flags with my ass. I'm gonna warn you now, I've been speaking more Spanish in the last two or three days than I have in nearly eight years worth of classes, so I might trail off from English a couple of times.

Example: this dude on a4a (Adam4Adam) messaged me complimenting my pictures and shows me his. We talk for a bit and then this dude starts pouring it on, asking for my number and wanting to meet me and shit. Now, thankfully, I use apps that allow me to call people and send texts via an internet connection (that started when I wasn't texting through my default service) whenever I don't feel comfortable giving out my number unless I know people for sure. I explained that to the guy when he got bent outta shape about that, but he rolled with it. Now I'm gonna say this and mean it, but I am not the average brother: I do not like to be on the phone, period, which is why I accumulate between 4 and 25 missed calls on average bi-weekly. I can go without my phone for days on end. So, this guy starts askin' why I haven't been hittin' him up. One: bitch, I got better things to do and better niggas to be talkin' to. Two, no eres especial; you are not special enough to warrant interruption of any form of my entertainment. So it's pretty obvious how thirsty the guy is with the way he's riding my balls. Creo que este hombre es muy deseparado para un novio. One that he thinks he can control anyway: you got me fucked all the way up, homie. Not just that, he raised a fuckin' red flag with me with a PM he sent me on a4a late last night when I checked this morning. He says he wants to connect with me and then asks if I want to continue bein' with people who don't care about me, implying that he's the only hijo de puta in the entire world that gives a fuck about me. One thing I can't stand is people trying to play on people's securities, because that's how abusive relationships begin and I will never be a doormat for any nigga unless his ass wants to end up riding in an ambulance with multiple skull fractures. I don't play that shit. Moving on, I guess when I told him that while I would meet him but I wasn't willin' to jump into anything, he got in his feelings and didn't respond. Another thing: calling me baby, even in Spanish, can and will not fly with me.

So, to all y'all people out there desperate for a relationship, take the shit slowly. Stop and enjoy the journey. If you gotta manipulate someone, you can go fuck yourself with a pogo stick and a fat bitch jumping on it.