Letting loose

You ever had those days where everything and everybody can go fuck off? Yeah, having almost a month of that shit and the nigga in me that lurks in even the most reasonable black man can't take it no more. The last thing I wrote (now deleted) was called a rant when it was me expressing how I felt without any anger. That's not the case this time. And this is going to have a lot of profanity, so if you have virgin eyes, I suggest you look the fuck away.

Grandpa trolls: Old-ass, punk-ass, douchebag-ass, zero-ass nigga. You were sorry but you had to attack me for how I felt, right? Well, I had to block your ass because you didn't read the disclaimer, not because my "widdle feelings were hurt." This is what you call a rant and I've only gotten started. I don't even know him, nor have I seen him off FetLife, but he can still go eat a dick off the motherfuckin' principle that he disrespected me without provocation.

Swearing does not equal aggression: I take the most direct route in saying what's on my mind when it's on my mind. I have moments where I can say what I need to without swearing, but I can't help that every other word out of my mouth is some form of expletive, because that is how I speak when I'm with my circle. It doesn't mean I'm geared up to go break my foot off in somebody's ass just because I say "Man, fuck that nigga" or "Save me from the fucking stupid." I get pissed off a lot and I say all kind of shit that would be offensive to the sensitive and not give one iota of a fuck how they feel. Get out of your feelings.

Lack of unconditional acceptance: Short and sweet. If you can't handle somebody at their worst, you need not fuck with them at their best. Don't make people think you accept them entirely when you ain't no different from everybody else who claimed to take them as is and when the shit get rough, you ready to cut them loose. If you can't take somebody as they are, swerve off a cliff in a Convertible with no seat belt on. Seriously. Fuck all that cherry picking.

Chameleon people: What annoys me are people who cannot be true to themselves. The people who feel like they have to do what they think is expected of them in order to fit in. Like for example, I know people who force themselves to like what their best friend, partner, etc. likes and claim things they know they're not gonna claim when those bonds are broken. I hate when I can't see the real colors of these individuals. These people you gotta keep closer than anything.

Guilt trips: Please understand that this shit does not work on me and the fact that people try so hard to make me feel bad just because I forget something or make a fuck-up irks the living fuck out of me. Seriously, I do not function like the average human being but I don't use it as an excuse when I do wrong 'cause when I know I'm wrong, I admit it and move on. Swerve twice and miss me with the manipulative shit.

Pay Attention, I hate repeating myself

You ever have one of those days where the world can just fuck right the hell off and die? That's my day today. I'm sick of people. I'm sick of simple fucks in general. Need examples? You know I got them.

Stupid mutha fuckas that get in their feelings every fucking time I say something to them about how they make me feel. How in the actual blue fuck are you in a relationship and working on getting shit right, but you want to run as soon as a nigga tell you how he feels? Get your weak minded ass on somewhere. I am a mutha fuckin beast and you have known this for five years now. I have been this way since forever and I'm not changing. If you piss me off, I'm going to tell you, and probably in detail so that you know exactly what the fuck you did. Get the fuck out yo' feelings bitch because I didn't spare them before, I'm sure the fuck not about to spare them now.

Stalkers: Bitch, look. I got the mutha fuckin prize, if you must look at this like a game. I got the nigga you want. And do you know how I did it? By being me. I don't work for this shit. I don't chase niggas. Niggas chase me. It ain't just the fact that I make a mutha fucka moan my name and his eyes roll back as that nut comes out, though it certainly helps. It is the fact that I'm a grown ass mutha fuckin man and I act like it. I carry myself as a man, not a little bitch. I get shit done. I am the most dominating, arrogant, ignant, honest, loyal, caring son of a bitch you will ever come across. I am that lethal form of nigga you don't want to piss off because I don't scare you by appearance, it's the fact that I'm that rare breed of nigga that will fuck you up nine ways from Sunday, turn to another person, and smile like I'm not covered in your blood. And guess what, bitch, I got limited ways to handling stalkers. You stalking my Facebook pisses me off. Roll your ass up to this door and I guarantee you that the nigga you tried to play games to win will be the least of your worries, because you will have the most lethal beast in existence all over you like white on rice on a paper plate in a snowstorm

Bitches calling me for rides: Y'all seem to not understand that I work. Bitch, I have been in hell for eight and a half hours. I want a day to myself. I want several days to myself. Fuck, I want the next year and a half to myself. In short, calling me for rides every fucking day and night, does nothing more than piss me off. Nights like tonight, I'm not answering my phone. Why? Because I don't fucking want to be bothered. Damn. Can a nigga sit at home and take a drink in peace? Shit.

Cockteases: Bitch, you not giving up da ass. Why are you in my face? Do I really need to explain to these hoes that they are hoes and are to be used as hoes and nothing more. Oh, you want to show off that nice fat ass and talk dirty every now and then, but you not sitting on my dick. Bitch, I got a problem with that. I don't do overtly sexual flirting with just any random bitch or nigga I come across. And frankly, if you're a cocktease, you're a bitch. You're a worthless bitch. Slob on my knob like corn on the cob or get the fuck out my face.

Mutha fuckas withholding sex: Look here, mutha fucka, if I tell you I want sex, whether I said I want the dick or the ass, I expect to get it. I don't want to hear excuses. I just told you I want to fuck til I can't walk the next day and you just gave me an excuse? What kind of bitch ass nigga does this? Your body hurts? Nigga are you on your rag? If so, slob on my knob like corn on the cob and we can be done for the evening. Why the fuck is this so hard?

Niggas not getting sympathy cravings from the bitch they knocked up: Nigga, I ain't fucked a bitch in six years. I been in a relationship most of that time. So why the fuck am I getting your bitch's pregnancy cravings and morning sickness, and her fucked up high ass sex drive while you just sitting there happy than a mutha fucka? Nigga I'm straight miserable. I ain't craved fried rice this much ever in my goddamn life and you sitting there dumb and oblivious as fuck. You piece of shit fuckwad. If you don't get yo bitch ass up and cater to this woman you knocked up after I smack the shit out of her for getting pregnant by yo stupid ass, I'm smacking yo dumb ass for not having enough empathy to get all this bullshit. Passing this shit off to me and I ain't even fucked this bitch. Ugh

Fake ass former friends: Bitch, why is your name coming up in my life again? I gave your ass a pass when I let you continue walking upright. Now you in my life again. Bitch I will fuck your whole world up. I don't deal with betrayal well, and you are the worst form of traitor. You desperate pathetic man hungry bitch. I cannot express the depth of my hatred for you. You had a ride or die friend and you blew that shit for a nigga that ain't shit without me. Bitch kill yourself twice.And yes, I used the title of bitch a lot, because you are a bitch, and I don't like bitches like you, bitch.

Bitches that ain't about business: If there is one thing I don't fuck with, it's my money. If you go into business with me, be about your shit because I'm always about my shit. I will smack a bitch that's holding up my money. It's not that difficult. Don't assume 900 miles will stop me from reaching your ass. Stop bullshitting. If you're going to run a company, run that bitch right. You fucking with my funds means I might make a trip, ho. Get on the mutha fuckin job.

I think I'm done, but y'all get the point. I hate stupidity, and it's running rampant.

I'm the bad guy because I cuss so much. Fine, I'll be your bad guy.

Read that title.

Yes. I've discovered a new excuse. As stupid as it sounds, I encountered this shit.

So, I met this chick 3 months ago on a dating site and if she had read my profile, she would've realized that I cannot cater to people if they get in their feelings about something I said or did. I have no problem saying what I feel; which means if I think someone should kill themselves or if niggas are just one word away from me being on them like white on rice, I'm gonna let them know.

Also, every other word outta my mouth is some form of the word "fuck" or any assorted expletive. You fucking knew this, so why in the blue fuck does this shit bother you? It don't bother anyone else. When you messaged me about the content of my Facebook timeline, you should've known that was the wrong thing to do. You knew I say what I feel.

Like for example, had it not been for a fellow friend, the nigga you were considering collaring late last year? He was well on his way to getting his ass knocked around from one end of North County to the other. Yet you had not a single problem with me wanting to do that because last I checked, that's what boyfriends do; they are protectors from fuckery in all forms.

But I'm a villain because I do good in very bad ways. I'm the bad guy because I'm a foulmouthed motherfucker who also happens to be a large black man. I told you that I swear because that's how I talk, like many others.

I'm not the only big nigga you know.

But how in the rainbow fuck does this make me an aggressive person? Explaining to you that I did care about you and your well-being when you basically told me I didn't? How does that make me a bad person, even if I let my control on my rage slip just a bit? I hate when people try to play on the conscience I don't have.

Yeah, your whole reason for wanting to dump me was a complete farce. Just say what it was: that like everyone before you, you didn't really want me and you were incapable of accepting me as I am though. You didn't keep your word, but I'm not mad. No one does.

The real reason she wanted nothing else to do with me? Because I went off on and then proceeded to block some fuckwad old enough to be my father who decided to attack me just because I said that I didn't belong in a certain part of a community we are both part of that I'm still trying to navigate my way through after three years. I explained to her that:

1) That dude can kiss my ass and he's gonna stay blocked
2) What he did for her means nothing to me since he came across as a 50 year old troll. (Yeah, I troll but there's lines even I don't cross)

So basically, she let some old man come between us. But I'm the bad guy for not standing for his bullshit. If being wrong means not bowing down to arrogance, then I don't wanna be right.

People wanna make me the bad guy? Fine. I'll be every part of the villain you make me out to be. Just don't get in your feelings.

Did you really just......

Ok, so this bitch ass nigga pops up in my feed somehow on Facebook and all of a sudden you need me again. Really? FYI, before you continues on, yes, the word nigga is gonna be used throughout this post. You should already know I ain't the one to be sensitive.

Anyway, the song describes this nigga perfectly. Fronts like he has a plan all the damn time, really he's just jumping from thing to thing, from stupid hoe to stupid hoe. Bitch I ain't heard from you in at least six months but now you want to get back up on this music shit again and you want my help?

Pause. First off, nigga I'm an author. A fantasy and LGBT fiction author. My fanbase does not cater, generally, to hip hop music, especially shit that ain't unique.

Second point, nigga, it's been over six months. Where the fuck were you when I needed a friend, someone who, by the way, often calls me his homeboy or his little brother? Pussy ass nigga you were nowhere to be found. Then, you have the audacity to make the same fuck up as before but you want to reach out to me to help you?

Pause again. When in the blue fuck have you ever advertised any of my shit? Do you promote me? Let me answer that for you, lying ass nigga, you don't. Therefore, the fuck I look like helping you.

Third, why is your bitch following me on twitter, the bitch that's supposed to be your ex but apparently is the current again.

Pause. Let's address this hoe. Bitch you stupid. Seriously. This nigga has fucked around on you since day one and you took your dumb ass back. Seriously, bitch, you need to build your mutha fuckin self esteem. Following me on twitter now tells me you're really a simple hoe and you're falling into his using ass habits, and I seriously suggest you look elsewhere for a source to use. Bitch slaps for both of you if you want to take me down this road.

So, lets sum this nigga up. Broke ass bum ass nigga; can't keep a job ass nigga; frontin' like you top shit ain't shit nigga; sorry ass nigga; can't take of your kids ass nigga; can't stand by a friend but always got your hand out ass nigga; live at home with your mom ass nigga but throwin parties telling people it's yours ass nigga; go out to the club spending your wife's money ass nigga; picking up groupies with your wedding ring still on your left hand ass nigga.

Get the picture yet. I kinda hate your fucking guts cuz you just ain't shit. Everything you say is a lie, and frankly, I'd rather not deal with you anymore.

More Simple Bitches in the Workplace

So, generally speaking, I don't have direct conflicts at work. I'm kinda not that guy you want to fuck with, because if I lose my cool at work, you're fuckin' with my money, and that causes me a problem. But there always has to be a basic bitch at this job. I have come across another one.
This simple hoe is the quiet type. She sits there with her headphones on and listens to music or whatever the fuck, doesn't communicate with us. We accept she's the quiet type so we hold our conversations amongst those of us that feel like talking. All of a sudden, she has a problem. Now she mad all the mutha fuckin time and feels like someone is talking about her in emails. Well, simple ho, I don't talk about you in emails, but I'm putting your stupid ass in this blog.
Pause. You might wonder why this bothers me. Only because three days in a row, she's said something or done something like people in here have done or said something out of the way to her. Seems to me the bitch is bitter at being left out. What kind of fuckery is this? Then she threatens people, and posts facebook statuses about the whores in here........pause again. Bitch what? Are you feeling some type of way? Do you have ho-ish tendencies and are projecting them on the rest of us? Are you mad that you're some kind of introvert and we don't force you into our conversations? Bitch do you need a fucking hug or something? She started unnecessary drama in the workplace due to a stupid ass assumption and instead of acting professionally (something i heard she says we're not, whatever ho), she explodes on the floor on someone not involved as if I have fucks to give not realizing most of us are sitting there laughing at her. Stupid hoe is on her way out the door anyway. Perhaps she should put all that energy she's using to be angry into keeping this job or finding another one, and shut the fuck up.

Bad Roommates

Now let me start this off by saying, I don't need a roommate. All my bills are paid by me, I don't really require the help. But sometimes you decide to be nice and help a person out, and they are expected to contribute. Then you get stuck with the roommate from hell.

pause. Little clarification, I have a one bedroom apartment. That's all I need. Moving this dude in is not convenient. I did it because he had nowhere else to go. But almost immediately we have problems.

First off, I like to drink. I have become quite fond of wine in particular. But any alcohol in my house is expected to still be there when I want it. First thing this bitch does is drink whole bottles of my wine. Oh hell the fuck no. Then, this bastard eats up all my cookie crisp, and yes, I'm pissed about that. i bought that for my specific craving. It needs to be there when I want it. Moving on, all of a sudden, my living room stinks, which is where he stays. I realized that this is because this bitch ain't done laundry. Not to mention the first week he was there he didn't seem to understand that I have a fully functioning shower.

Double pause. Why the fuck do I have to tell a grown ass man to take a mutha fuckin shower? This nigga is 32 years old. Bitch, take a fucking shower. Put soap on a rag and make it meet your ass. You are too old not to understand that you stink if you don't bathe, fuckwad.

Next thing, I don't run a fucking hotel. This is my house in which everything is in my name and paid by me. I have a simple rule to follow. The only person who fucks or gets any sexual contact inside my home is me. That is my undisputed domain. I shouldn't really have had to tell this simple fuckton this, but apparently I did. Last night, I get home, and he in the shower with his little male friend. Oh fuck that. I have fucked people up for less. Then you tell me you didn't break my rule? Yeah alright, enjoy not having company for the very, and I do mean very short time you are here.

How the fuck do you move in with someone and at every turn inconvenience them and then wonder why the fuck I'm looking at you like I'm about to rip you to shreds? The fuckery is strong in this one

Bad Liars

Alright, time to come on some more real fuckery here. I hate liars, but I especially hate bad liars. What I mean by this are liars that actually insult your mutha fuckin intelligence with their lies. Let's use my ex for this example.

For the sake of names, we'll call him Stupid. There's a whole laundry list of his lies I could point out, but let's start with this one. Stupid moves a dude in with him that used to have a thing for him but he says he doesn't want (lie number 1, guess I'll cover a few in this example). The two get into a scuffle and Stupid's phone gets broken. He claims he can't afford a new one and doesn't want one, right? (Lie #2 if you're keeping track). So he turns up at my job the other day and lo and behold, there's a phone in his car. He refuses to acknowledge it but I see it. Last time he stayed over he had it. In other words, he has a phone, and ol' boy banned him from calling me on it.

Pause. Let's be frank, I give no fucks about him or ol' boy's situation. Reason for this, they didn't give a fuck about mine. Payback's a bitch. That being said, I don't tell lies. If I don't answer a text from him and it's just because I didn't want to talk, I tell him so. That's how I always have operated. I don't lie. I don't hide phones or phone numbers. The fuck does that in this day and age. Be real with your shit.

Let's hit lie #3. He texts me friday morning when i'm sleep (5 AM does not exist to me unless I'm just going to bed). I get up around 9 and text back. This is a daily thing for us now. Then I don't hear from him all that day or the next. so I say fuck it and let him know I'm done (Pause, he only communicates through a google voice number from the computer, not his phone). Sunday i get a text back. All of a sudden he was in the hospital and oh he wants to come see me that day and blah blah blah.

Bitch please. Miss me with every last one of those lies. Here's what really happened. Ol' boy got on that ass again, made some accusations (same way I used to when we were together), and you backed off for a couple days to let it die down. then, contacted me again only to be on some bullshit. Oh, now you want to be offended when I call you on your shit? Again, bitch please. I been doing this shit all along. You can't tell a lie to save your life that's actually believable. Miss me with all of that fuckery and kindly swerve off the road with no seatbelt on. Maybe someone else will fall for that shit, but I certainly want

Hitting on Straight Guys

so, this particular topic has come up lately in the gay community, so I'm talking to the gay guys with this post. I want to make this abundantly clear to some of you extra curricular fags (and yes, i used that term because you are the extremely flamboyant, flaming, annoying form of gay to which this term applies). Not every dude you come across is gay..........................................................let me repeat, and in caps, NOT EVERY DUDE YOU COME ACROSS IS GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, you give us all a bad name when you insist on hitting on a straight dude. If the dude is being nice when you speak, but lets you know he has a girl, he has a fucking girl. GET YO BITCH ASS OFF HIS NUTS!!! This is not that what your girl don't know won't hurt her situation. Sometimes, a straight guy is, and get this because apparently this is a fucking novelty to some of you, COMPLETELY STRAIGHT!!!! In cruder terms, he doesn't like dick, he doesn't like a man's ass, he likes pussy. How much fucking clearer can he get? Stop fucking hitting on straight guys. You cannot turn a straight guy. At best, you come across a curious guy who tries it and likes it. Generally, if they're straight, they want nothing to do with you in a sexual way. You can't fuck them, they can't fuck you, you can't suck their dick, and they can't suck yours. They can't eat your ass, nothing. Get it through your thick ass fucking skull. We can all tell when a dude is gay. If you can't, you need not ever approach a dude personally and stick to the dating websites. You will turn the most tolerant dude in the world into a homophobe all because you can't understand that all men are not gay, bi, or curious. So calm this fuckery down, stick to dudes you know are gay, bi, or curious, and life will get a whole lot easier. Damn

Bitter bitches who don't know their worth

This a topic I had to post about the moment I engaged in a conversation with a friend of mine. She's cool people, trying to find her identity, break free of what's stressing her out, all that good shit. But recently, she just proved to me that she is dumb and bitter as fuck. I mean, damn. I've heard of bitches wanting to go back to exes who were good to them and even chase the ones who ain't shit that dumped them, but wanting an ain't shit ex who moved on with his life? Holy fuck. Bitch, why in the blue fuck are you chasing this ain't shit nigga who clearly just wants you for the pussy you used to give him? Is the mutha fucka that goddamn good in bed? Do you even love this mutha fucka or are you just being spiteful that he left you?

Pause. This bitch-ass nigga, from what she told me, has apparently gotten married to some other broad that he clearly doesn't even love if he's constantly texting her talking about he wants to smash.Why in the fuck are you trying to get back this dude who will say anything to get in your panties when he has a whole fucking wife?

Pause that ass up. Yes, this dude is a whole manchild marriage hoe, but what the fuck my friend sees in this dipshit, I do not know.

Now she even said it herself he ain't shit but she's going out of her way to take back this ain't shit nigga who caused so much fuckery with the bitch before her, two bitches ago, and the bitch after her. This mutha fucka's relationships are essentially him leaving one broad for another. Then she goes on to say she wants to prove herself as a woman to him because fuck his wife, he belongs to her.

WHOA. HELL NO, THE FUCKERY SQUARED TIMES 10. PAUSE, PAUSE, AND PAUSE SOME MORE.

Bitch, what in the blue fuck do you have to prove to this worthless nigga? Do you lack that much self-esteem that you blame yourself for him cheating on you? Do you just hate the thought of a man who knows your fucking worth and will treat you like the queen you are? What the actual fucking fuck?! I feel my brain heading toward combustion just fucking thinking about this stupid shit. My question is, what the hell drives women, straight and otherwise, to just settle for these cowardly types instead of going for what they deserve? I know dudes do it too, but not so much so as females. Gods, the stupid bitch mentality runs strong in this chick: to think she's going to hold down this immature-ass dude that belongs to someone else just gives me migraines to the highest power.

Doesn't anyone listen to Statistics by Lyfe Jennings? Hell, she's been through this shit before with him: "If he's in a relationship: if he will cheat on her, that means he will cheat on you."

I know it happens all over the board, but the fuckery women bring just makes me ponder why I don't just leave the whole goddamn gender alone and plow niggas exclusively. In short, this bitch doesn't really want this ain't shit nigga back; she's bitter that he left and got married to someone that wasn't her. She acts like she can't have that with anyone else but that jackass when there are an array of dudes and females that would love to get with her. Hell, I'd throw my name into the hat. But no, she's so hung up on this fuckwad that clearly doesn't love her and it's a complete turn off.

Ladies, know that somewhere out there, there is a king (or co-queen) waiting to show you your worth. Unless you're a stupid bitch with the "He's mine" mentality. Then you can keep chasing that dumbshit you're pining after.

Man Boys

This was a requested topic a few weeks ago and I kind of just got to it. But some reminders of it today made me feel the need to blog about it. Man Boys. Some of you may wonder what this is. A man boy is a grown man, legally, that has the mentality of a boy. No, I'm not talking about legitimate retards or the slow. These are grown men who just aren't mature. These are the men that no matter how old they get, they're on the same bullshit. The same lies, the same tired ass lines, and the same ways. Nothing about them really improves. These come in all shapes and sizes. some of them are quite successful in life, but when it comes to the subject of relationships, they are complete children. Like always, I have examples.

A man boy loves the idea of a relationship. They love having someone with the title of girlfriend, wife, wifey, boyfriend, husband, etc. However, they do not understand how to be monogamous. They want to rip and run the streets like they did when they were single. They want to come in the house all ours of the morning. The sun beats these dudes home.

pause. Allow me to say that some of them actually aren't cheating jackasses, but their actions make them look like they are. See above, but they're actually just with friends and not with some other ho. But they don't understand why the blue fuck you are so pissed that they brought their bitch ass home at eight in the goddamn morning, nor do they understand why you slapped the shit out of them upon entering the house, or why you keep throwing shit at them and they were forced to sleep on the couch (might just be me, but bitch the sun beat you home and you're wondering why I'm violent? Fuck yo couch)

Man boys seem to be habitual liars. They lie so fast it'll make your head spin, but they are fucking horrible at it. See, I'm a pretty thorough master of the game. So if something seems like it might not be right, I ask questions. I might seem to accept the answers, but six hours, six days, six weeks, or even months later, I'll come back and ask that same question to see if I get the same answer. Man boys cannot remember the lies they tell. Their story changes and they get caught.

These simpletons also get caught in the simplest ways. They never want you in their cell phone. Don't look at it, answer it, look through it, or even breathe in its direction. Probably because all the evidence is still their.

Here's the important one though.They fuck up the best person to ever come into their life. Seriously, they always fuck this person over and it takes forever for them to realize it. They are too set in their childish ways to understand how they hurt someone, and by the time they even come close to figuring it out, it's too late. Then they want to chase after like some love sick puppy but cannot make the simplest fucking efforts to correct their habits. For instance, they can't fess up to the lies you have them dead to rights on. Seriously, you can catch these fools on video fucking someone else and they try their damnedest to deny it. They do not grow up.

What can you learn from this? Let that bitch ass boy go. You deserve better. Unless you're just like their stupid ass, in which case do me the favor of keeping the fucktard to yourself. 

VLog: Sagging Pants

This was a suggested topic, and I had to do a VLog to cover it this time

Fucked Up Job

You know, I've had some pretty fucked up jobs in my life but the fuckery that goes on at my current job is mind boggling. Let's hit the list

Ratchets: These bitches run rampant in here. It is actually pathetic. And what's really sad is they don't know they're ratchet? Bitch, you come in with cheap weave, got a nigga that does absolutely nothing for you, just lost your car, and are always in goddamn leopard print while you have an as flatter and more misshapen than a fucking pancake. To boot, you're fucking stupid, simple, and slow. You talk conspiracy theories while trying to make yourself sound intelligent, but you actually don't know shit. You are a blithering fucking idiot and I have to wonder if you sucked the boss's dick to get hired. Furthermore, you're loud as shit, and ghetto, and you have had altercations with no less than five people on the floor. You have way too much mouth but can't back it up. And you stay on the jock of dude that don't fucking want your ugly misshapen ass.

Favortism: First, see above. Then, I have to wonder how several of these hoes keep jobs when they continually fuck up shit we learn on day one of fucking training and have ingrained in us over the course of four fucking weeks. But the people that know their job and are working hard are the ones getting fired quickly.

Fucktards: The simple and slow fucks that won't shut the fuck up. You sound slow, you look slow, and you drive yourself at every turn. You know, those dumb ass dudes trying to talk about how they think a relationship is supposed to work, but don't actually have relationships. They're tricks and don't even know it. Shut the fuck up. Then you got the other fucktard that tries to talk all smooth but he dumb as fuck, needy, and desperate. Then you broke as shit and are trying to get with every thin bitch in the building but bitch ass dude you have no money, no opportunity to gain money, and you don't realize you're about to get fired. Plus, we've all seen your hoe when she comes to get you from work. That's like asking to get your ass beat.

Illogical fucking procedures: Seriously, there's no organization in here. Bitches want me to stay late because they don't distribute work properly throughout the day. Bitch, you know you want us gone at 7:30 every night, but you let people sit and do nothing for hours out of the day. Meanwhile I'm working like a mutha fucking Hebrew slave in this bitch but I still have to stay late. Bitch fuck you.

Old bitter bitches: These are those old bitches that think they know it all and have seen it all. They're hypocritcal bitches that say stupid shit to me like, "Stop that cursing."
Pause. First, bitch who are you and when the blue fucking fuck did you come to the conclusion that you have any authority over me. Last I checked, I punch that clock to make this money to pay these bills for me, not you. You are also not my mother, nor my grandmother, both of whom cuss like sailors any fucking way and are not about to correct me on my language. Third, bitch, didn't I hear you cuss out one or both of your grown ass children like two days ago? But you're talking to me about my mouth. Get the fuck out my face lady.

Power trips: One of the supervisors is on a power trip. This mutha fucka wants to fire everyone. But, get this, HE DOESN'T HAVE THE FUCKING AUTHORITY TO FIRE PEOPLE. Seriously, in order to fire us, it has to be cleared with both HR and the head bosses. He never gets the clearance of the head bosses, so he nearly got the company a fucking lawsuit for firing someone for their attendance who's on FMLA. You stupid fuck. And that person was the latest in a long list of people he's tried to fire. Ol' dumb mutha fucka.

Seriously, I don't know how the fuck this company stays in business, it's so poorly run. And all this shit, is just shit I've gone through or noticed the past couple of days. It's much worse if I examine the past 8 months. Oh the fuckery

50 Feet, Nigga, Damn (Part 3)

The above video is my current mood, because I want to slap a nigga. 

I believe Dre and I told these niggas to miss us with the stupid shit on these hookup sites. Apparently, these mutha fuckas don't seem to get the mutha fuckin' point. Fucking jumpoffs have the fucking audacity to call me pet names that only a boyfriend or a girlfriend should be using. Bitch ass nigga, I am not your fucking baby or your sweetie or shit like that. This dude had the fucking audacity to make his opening message "Hey sweetie." Like that shit is supposed to impress me or make you more than a jumpoff. To be more than a jump off with me, you have to fuckin' impress a nigga enough to the point that it'll make me not delete your number from my phone after getting my nut off.

Next problem, these dudes on these hookup sites trying to give me the walking dead and assorted shit I didn't come to the party with, both my age, close to it, and these old fucks. Understand I have nothing against anyone HIV+, but I love myself too much and there is no amount of protection that will ever convince me to have sex with these people or do anything that'll put me at risk of catching any STD. Because there's no absolute defense outside of abstinence and I'm a bit late for taking a vow refraining from sex. There was this guy who looked as old as he was. He was like 52 or some shit and he's poz, but the killer is that he sends me a message that said "Make me your bitch and have your way with me" when my profile clearly states I only fuck people who can prove a recent clean bill of health. So, no. You're old, trifling and you're positive, so no thanks. Then there's this interracial couple who like threesomes and they're just... gross. Ugh, can you fuckwads not read? If I want a jump off, I need for him to test negative for any disease, especially that walking dead. Come on, now, especially black men- know your fucking status and get tested.

Then of course, there's the old guys old enough to be either my dad or my grandpa. Like Dre, I get these guys too but worse. There's this guy about 50 with a picture of his ass (which looked like 10 pounds of spoiled chocolate milk in a five pound bag) who hounds me about meeting up but can't seem to take a fucking hint. I ignored you for a reason: you're disgusting, now get the fuck off of my profile. Let's understand something: with me, ten years in either direction is too big an age difference. Even if I were 28, an 18 year old would still be too young for me. 36 isn't old, but another guy sends me a message on Valentine's Day asking me if I wanna come over, light up, and get it in. 48 is definitely too old for me, and this guy from Nebraska asks me if I'd like to host some fun.

Pause. Who in the silver satanic fuck told your wrinkled ass it was okay to ask me some shit like that? Why in the fuck would I bring this bitch to the place I lay my head, especially when he's from out of town? That's asking for all kinds of shit to happen.

Anyway, I just need these fuckwads to stay the far the fuck away from me.

Vlog: Escorts & Masseurs

I made this one a few weeks ago. Forgot to post it on here. Got a growing trend here