More Simple Bitches in the Workplace

So, generally speaking, I don't have direct conflicts at work. I'm kinda not that guy you want to fuck with, because if I lose my cool at work, you're fuckin' with my money, and that causes me a problem. But there always has to be a basic bitch at this job. I have come across another one.
This simple hoe is the quiet type. She sits there with her headphones on and listens to music or whatever the fuck, doesn't communicate with us. We accept she's the quiet type so we hold our conversations amongst those of us that feel like talking. All of a sudden, she has a problem. Now she mad all the mutha fuckin time and feels like someone is talking about her in emails. Well, simple ho, I don't talk about you in emails, but I'm putting your stupid ass in this blog.
Pause. You might wonder why this bothers me. Only because three days in a row, she's said something or done something like people in here have done or said something out of the way to her. Seems to me the bitch is bitter at being left out. What kind of fuckery is this? Then she threatens people, and posts facebook statuses about the whores in here........pause again. Bitch what? Are you feeling some type of way? Do you have ho-ish tendencies and are projecting them on the rest of us? Are you mad that you're some kind of introvert and we don't force you into our conversations? Bitch do you need a fucking hug or something? She started unnecessary drama in the workplace due to a stupid ass assumption and instead of acting professionally (something i heard she says we're not, whatever ho), she explodes on the floor on someone not involved as if I have fucks to give not realizing most of us are sitting there laughing at her. Stupid hoe is on her way out the door anyway. Perhaps she should put all that energy she's using to be angry into keeping this job or finding another one, and shut the fuck up.

Bad Roommates

Now let me start this off by saying, I don't need a roommate. All my bills are paid by me, I don't really require the help. But sometimes you decide to be nice and help a person out, and they are expected to contribute. Then you get stuck with the roommate from hell.

pause. Little clarification, I have a one bedroom apartment. That's all I need. Moving this dude in is not convenient. I did it because he had nowhere else to go. But almost immediately we have problems.

First off, I like to drink. I have become quite fond of wine in particular. But any alcohol in my house is expected to still be there when I want it. First thing this bitch does is drink whole bottles of my wine. Oh hell the fuck no. Then, this bastard eats up all my cookie crisp, and yes, I'm pissed about that. i bought that for my specific craving. It needs to be there when I want it. Moving on, all of a sudden, my living room stinks, which is where he stays. I realized that this is because this bitch ain't done laundry. Not to mention the first week he was there he didn't seem to understand that I have a fully functioning shower.

Double pause. Why the fuck do I have to tell a grown ass man to take a mutha fuckin shower? This nigga is 32 years old. Bitch, take a fucking shower. Put soap on a rag and make it meet your ass. You are too old not to understand that you stink if you don't bathe, fuckwad.

Next thing, I don't run a fucking hotel. This is my house in which everything is in my name and paid by me. I have a simple rule to follow. The only person who fucks or gets any sexual contact inside my home is me. That is my undisputed domain. I shouldn't really have had to tell this simple fuckton this, but apparently I did. Last night, I get home, and he in the shower with his little male friend. Oh fuck that. I have fucked people up for less. Then you tell me you didn't break my rule? Yeah alright, enjoy not having company for the very, and I do mean very short time you are here.

How the fuck do you move in with someone and at every turn inconvenience them and then wonder why the fuck I'm looking at you like I'm about to rip you to shreds? The fuckery is strong in this one

Bad Liars

Alright, time to come on some more real fuckery here. I hate liars, but I especially hate bad liars. What I mean by this are liars that actually insult your mutha fuckin intelligence with their lies. Let's use my ex for this example.

For the sake of names, we'll call him Stupid. There's a whole laundry list of his lies I could point out, but let's start with this one. Stupid moves a dude in with him that used to have a thing for him but he says he doesn't want (lie number 1, guess I'll cover a few in this example). The two get into a scuffle and Stupid's phone gets broken. He claims he can't afford a new one and doesn't want one, right? (Lie #2 if you're keeping track). So he turns up at my job the other day and lo and behold, there's a phone in his car. He refuses to acknowledge it but I see it. Last time he stayed over he had it. In other words, he has a phone, and ol' boy banned him from calling me on it.

Pause. Let's be frank, I give no fucks about him or ol' boy's situation. Reason for this, they didn't give a fuck about mine. Payback's a bitch. That being said, I don't tell lies. If I don't answer a text from him and it's just because I didn't want to talk, I tell him so. That's how I always have operated. I don't lie. I don't hide phones or phone numbers. The fuck does that in this day and age. Be real with your shit.

Let's hit lie #3. He texts me friday morning when i'm sleep (5 AM does not exist to me unless I'm just going to bed). I get up around 9 and text back. This is a daily thing for us now. Then I don't hear from him all that day or the next. so I say fuck it and let him know I'm done (Pause, he only communicates through a google voice number from the computer, not his phone). Sunday i get a text back. All of a sudden he was in the hospital and oh he wants to come see me that day and blah blah blah.

Bitch please. Miss me with every last one of those lies. Here's what really happened. Ol' boy got on that ass again, made some accusations (same way I used to when we were together), and you backed off for a couple days to let it die down. then, contacted me again only to be on some bullshit. Oh, now you want to be offended when I call you on your shit? Again, bitch please. I been doing this shit all along. You can't tell a lie to save your life that's actually believable. Miss me with all of that fuckery and kindly swerve off the road with no seatbelt on. Maybe someone else will fall for that shit, but I certainly want

Hitting on Straight Guys

so, this particular topic has come up lately in the gay community, so I'm talking to the gay guys with this post. I want to make this abundantly clear to some of you extra curricular fags (and yes, i used that term because you are the extremely flamboyant, flaming, annoying form of gay to which this term applies). Not every dude you come across is gay..........................................................let me repeat, and in caps, NOT EVERY DUDE YOU COME ACROSS IS GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, you give us all a bad name when you insist on hitting on a straight dude. If the dude is being nice when you speak, but lets you know he has a girl, he has a fucking girl. GET YO BITCH ASS OFF HIS NUTS!!! This is not that what your girl don't know won't hurt her situation. Sometimes, a straight guy is, and get this because apparently this is a fucking novelty to some of you, COMPLETELY STRAIGHT!!!! In cruder terms, he doesn't like dick, he doesn't like a man's ass, he likes pussy. How much fucking clearer can he get? Stop fucking hitting on straight guys. You cannot turn a straight guy. At best, you come across a curious guy who tries it and likes it. Generally, if they're straight, they want nothing to do with you in a sexual way. You can't fuck them, they can't fuck you, you can't suck their dick, and they can't suck yours. They can't eat your ass, nothing. Get it through your thick ass fucking skull. We can all tell when a dude is gay. If you can't, you need not ever approach a dude personally and stick to the dating websites. You will turn the most tolerant dude in the world into a homophobe all because you can't understand that all men are not gay, bi, or curious. So calm this fuckery down, stick to dudes you know are gay, bi, or curious, and life will get a whole lot easier. Damn

Bitter bitches who don't know their worth

This a topic I had to post about the moment I engaged in a conversation with a friend of mine. She's cool people, trying to find her identity, break free of what's stressing her out, all that good shit. But recently, she just proved to me that she is dumb and bitter as fuck. I mean, damn. I've heard of bitches wanting to go back to exes who were good to them and even chase the ones who ain't shit that dumped them, but wanting an ain't shit ex who moved on with his life? Holy fuck. Bitch, why in the blue fuck are you chasing this ain't shit nigga who clearly just wants you for the pussy you used to give him? Is the mutha fucka that goddamn good in bed? Do you even love this mutha fucka or are you just being spiteful that he left you?

Pause. This bitch-ass nigga, from what she told me, has apparently gotten married to some other broad that he clearly doesn't even love if he's constantly texting her talking about he wants to smash.Why in the fuck are you trying to get back this dude who will say anything to get in your panties when he has a whole fucking wife?

Pause that ass up. Yes, this dude is a whole manchild marriage hoe, but what the fuck my friend sees in this dipshit, I do not know.

Now she even said it herself he ain't shit but she's going out of her way to take back this ain't shit nigga who caused so much fuckery with the bitch before her, two bitches ago, and the bitch after her. This mutha fucka's relationships are essentially him leaving one broad for another. Then she goes on to say she wants to prove herself as a woman to him because fuck his wife, he belongs to her.

WHOA. HELL NO, THE FUCKERY SQUARED TIMES 10. PAUSE, PAUSE, AND PAUSE SOME MORE.

Bitch, what in the blue fuck do you have to prove to this worthless nigga? Do you lack that much self-esteem that you blame yourself for him cheating on you? Do you just hate the thought of a man who knows your fucking worth and will treat you like the queen you are? What the actual fucking fuck?! I feel my brain heading toward combustion just fucking thinking about this stupid shit. My question is, what the hell drives women, straight and otherwise, to just settle for these cowardly types instead of going for what they deserve? I know dudes do it too, but not so much so as females. Gods, the stupid bitch mentality runs strong in this chick: to think she's going to hold down this immature-ass dude that belongs to someone else just gives me migraines to the highest power.

Doesn't anyone listen to Statistics by Lyfe Jennings? Hell, she's been through this shit before with him: "If he's in a relationship: if he will cheat on her, that means he will cheat on you."

I know it happens all over the board, but the fuckery women bring just makes me ponder why I don't just leave the whole goddamn gender alone and plow niggas exclusively. In short, this bitch doesn't really want this ain't shit nigga back; she's bitter that he left and got married to someone that wasn't her. She acts like she can't have that with anyone else but that jackass when there are an array of dudes and females that would love to get with her. Hell, I'd throw my name into the hat. But no, she's so hung up on this fuckwad that clearly doesn't love her and it's a complete turn off.

Ladies, know that somewhere out there, there is a king (or co-queen) waiting to show you your worth. Unless you're a stupid bitch with the "He's mine" mentality. Then you can keep chasing that dumbshit you're pining after.

Man Boys

This was a requested topic a few weeks ago and I kind of just got to it. But some reminders of it today made me feel the need to blog about it. Man Boys. Some of you may wonder what this is. A man boy is a grown man, legally, that has the mentality of a boy. No, I'm not talking about legitimate retards or the slow. These are grown men who just aren't mature. These are the men that no matter how old they get, they're on the same bullshit. The same lies, the same tired ass lines, and the same ways. Nothing about them really improves. These come in all shapes and sizes. some of them are quite successful in life, but when it comes to the subject of relationships, they are complete children. Like always, I have examples.

A man boy loves the idea of a relationship. They love having someone with the title of girlfriend, wife, wifey, boyfriend, husband, etc. However, they do not understand how to be monogamous. They want to rip and run the streets like they did when they were single. They want to come in the house all ours of the morning. The sun beats these dudes home.

pause. Allow me to say that some of them actually aren't cheating jackasses, but their actions make them look like they are. See above, but they're actually just with friends and not with some other ho. But they don't understand why the blue fuck you are so pissed that they brought their bitch ass home at eight in the goddamn morning, nor do they understand why you slapped the shit out of them upon entering the house, or why you keep throwing shit at them and they were forced to sleep on the couch (might just be me, but bitch the sun beat you home and you're wondering why I'm violent? Fuck yo couch)

Man boys seem to be habitual liars. They lie so fast it'll make your head spin, but they are fucking horrible at it. See, I'm a pretty thorough master of the game. So if something seems like it might not be right, I ask questions. I might seem to accept the answers, but six hours, six days, six weeks, or even months later, I'll come back and ask that same question to see if I get the same answer. Man boys cannot remember the lies they tell. Their story changes and they get caught.

These simpletons also get caught in the simplest ways. They never want you in their cell phone. Don't look at it, answer it, look through it, or even breathe in its direction. Probably because all the evidence is still their.

Here's the important one though.They fuck up the best person to ever come into their life. Seriously, they always fuck this person over and it takes forever for them to realize it. They are too set in their childish ways to understand how they hurt someone, and by the time they even come close to figuring it out, it's too late. Then they want to chase after like some love sick puppy but cannot make the simplest fucking efforts to correct their habits. For instance, they can't fess up to the lies you have them dead to rights on. Seriously, you can catch these fools on video fucking someone else and they try their damnedest to deny it. They do not grow up.

What can you learn from this? Let that bitch ass boy go. You deserve better. Unless you're just like their stupid ass, in which case do me the favor of keeping the fucktard to yourself.