This was a suggested topic, and I had to do a VLog to cover it this time
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Fucked Up Job
You know, I've had some pretty fucked up jobs in my life but the fuckery that goes on at my current job is mind boggling. Let's hit the list
Ratchets: These bitches run rampant in here. It is actually pathetic. And what's really sad is they don't know they're ratchet? Bitch, you come in with cheap weave, got a nigga that does absolutely nothing for you, just lost your car, and are always in goddamn leopard print while you have an as flatter and more misshapen than a fucking pancake. To boot, you're fucking stupid, simple, and slow. You talk conspiracy theories while trying to make yourself sound intelligent, but you actually don't know shit. You are a blithering fucking idiot and I have to wonder if you sucked the boss's dick to get hired. Furthermore, you're loud as shit, and ghetto, and you have had altercations with no less than five people on the floor. You have way too much mouth but can't back it up. And you stay on the jock of dude that don't fucking want your ugly misshapen ass.
Favortism: First, see above. Then, I have to wonder how several of these hoes keep jobs when they continually fuck up shit we learn on day one of fucking training and have ingrained in us over the course of four fucking weeks. But the people that know their job and are working hard are the ones getting fired quickly.
Fucktards: The simple and slow fucks that won't shut the fuck up. You sound slow, you look slow, and you drive yourself at every turn. You know, those dumb ass dudes trying to talk about how they think a relationship is supposed to work, but don't actually have relationships. They're tricks and don't even know it. Shut the fuck up. Then you got the other fucktard that tries to talk all smooth but he dumb as fuck, needy, and desperate. Then you broke as shit and are trying to get with every thin bitch in the building but bitch ass dude you have no money, no opportunity to gain money, and you don't realize you're about to get fired. Plus, we've all seen your hoe when she comes to get you from work. That's like asking to get your ass beat.
Illogical fucking procedures: Seriously, there's no organization in here. Bitches want me to stay late because they don't distribute work properly throughout the day. Bitch, you know you want us gone at 7:30 every night, but you let people sit and do nothing for hours out of the day. Meanwhile I'm working like a mutha fucking Hebrew slave in this bitch but I still have to stay late. Bitch fuck you.
Old bitter bitches: These are those old bitches that think they know it all and have seen it all. They're hypocritcal bitches that say stupid shit to me like, "Stop that cursing."
Pause. First, bitch who are you and when the blue fucking fuck did you come to the conclusion that you have any authority over me. Last I checked, I punch that clock to make this money to pay these bills for me, not you. You are also not my mother, nor my grandmother, both of whom cuss like sailors any fucking way and are not about to correct me on my language. Third, bitch, didn't I hear you cuss out one or both of your grown ass children like two days ago? But you're talking to me about my mouth. Get the fuck out my face lady.
Power trips: One of the supervisors is on a power trip. This mutha fucka wants to fire everyone. But, get this, HE DOESN'T HAVE THE FUCKING AUTHORITY TO FIRE PEOPLE. Seriously, in order to fire us, it has to be cleared with both HR and the head bosses. He never gets the clearance of the head bosses, so he nearly got the company a fucking lawsuit for firing someone for their attendance who's on FMLA. You stupid fuck. And that person was the latest in a long list of people he's tried to fire. Ol' dumb mutha fucka.
Seriously, I don't know how the fuck this company stays in business, it's so poorly run. And all this shit, is just shit I've gone through or noticed the past couple of days. It's much worse if I examine the past 8 months. Oh the fuckery
Ratchets: These bitches run rampant in here. It is actually pathetic. And what's really sad is they don't know they're ratchet? Bitch, you come in with cheap weave, got a nigga that does absolutely nothing for you, just lost your car, and are always in goddamn leopard print while you have an as flatter and more misshapen than a fucking pancake. To boot, you're fucking stupid, simple, and slow. You talk conspiracy theories while trying to make yourself sound intelligent, but you actually don't know shit. You are a blithering fucking idiot and I have to wonder if you sucked the boss's dick to get hired. Furthermore, you're loud as shit, and ghetto, and you have had altercations with no less than five people on the floor. You have way too much mouth but can't back it up. And you stay on the jock of dude that don't fucking want your ugly misshapen ass.
Favortism: First, see above. Then, I have to wonder how several of these hoes keep jobs when they continually fuck up shit we learn on day one of fucking training and have ingrained in us over the course of four fucking weeks. But the people that know their job and are working hard are the ones getting fired quickly.
Fucktards: The simple and slow fucks that won't shut the fuck up. You sound slow, you look slow, and you drive yourself at every turn. You know, those dumb ass dudes trying to talk about how they think a relationship is supposed to work, but don't actually have relationships. They're tricks and don't even know it. Shut the fuck up. Then you got the other fucktard that tries to talk all smooth but he dumb as fuck, needy, and desperate. Then you broke as shit and are trying to get with every thin bitch in the building but bitch ass dude you have no money, no opportunity to gain money, and you don't realize you're about to get fired. Plus, we've all seen your hoe when she comes to get you from work. That's like asking to get your ass beat.
Illogical fucking procedures: Seriously, there's no organization in here. Bitches want me to stay late because they don't distribute work properly throughout the day. Bitch, you know you want us gone at 7:30 every night, but you let people sit and do nothing for hours out of the day. Meanwhile I'm working like a mutha fucking Hebrew slave in this bitch but I still have to stay late. Bitch fuck you.
Old bitter bitches: These are those old bitches that think they know it all and have seen it all. They're hypocritcal bitches that say stupid shit to me like, "Stop that cursing."
Pause. First, bitch who are you and when the blue fucking fuck did you come to the conclusion that you have any authority over me. Last I checked, I punch that clock to make this money to pay these bills for me, not you. You are also not my mother, nor my grandmother, both of whom cuss like sailors any fucking way and are not about to correct me on my language. Third, bitch, didn't I hear you cuss out one or both of your grown ass children like two days ago? But you're talking to me about my mouth. Get the fuck out my face lady.
Power trips: One of the supervisors is on a power trip. This mutha fucka wants to fire everyone. But, get this, HE DOESN'T HAVE THE FUCKING AUTHORITY TO FIRE PEOPLE. Seriously, in order to fire us, it has to be cleared with both HR and the head bosses. He never gets the clearance of the head bosses, so he nearly got the company a fucking lawsuit for firing someone for their attendance who's on FMLA. You stupid fuck. And that person was the latest in a long list of people he's tried to fire. Ol' dumb mutha fucka.
Seriously, I don't know how the fuck this company stays in business, it's so poorly run. And all this shit, is just shit I've gone through or noticed the past couple of days. It's much worse if I examine the past 8 months. Oh the fuckery
Friday, February 14, 2014
50 Feet, Nigga, Damn (Part 3)
The above video is my current mood, because I want to slap a nigga.
I believe Dre and I told these niggas to miss us with the stupid shit on these hookup sites. Apparently, these mutha fuckas don't seem to get the mutha fuckin' point. Fucking jumpoffs have the fucking audacity to call me pet names that only a boyfriend or a girlfriend should be using. Bitch ass nigga, I am not your fucking baby or your sweetie or shit like that. This dude had the fucking audacity to make his opening message "Hey sweetie." Like that shit is supposed to impress me or make you more than a jumpoff. To be more than a jump off with me, you have to fuckin' impress a nigga enough to the point that it'll make me not delete your number from my phone after getting my nut off.
Next problem, these dudes on these hookup sites trying to give me the walking dead and assorted shit I didn't come to the party with, both my age, close to it, and these old fucks. Understand I have nothing against anyone HIV+, but I love myself too much and there is no amount of protection that will ever convince me to have sex with these people or do anything that'll put me at risk of catching any STD. Because there's no absolute defense outside of abstinence and I'm a bit late for taking a vow refraining from sex. There was this guy who looked as old as he was. He was like 52 or some shit and he's poz, but the killer is that he sends me a message that said "Make me your bitch and have your way with me" when my profile clearly states I only fuck people who can prove a recent clean bill of health. So, no. You're old, trifling and you're positive, so no thanks. Then there's this interracial couple who like threesomes and they're just... gross. Ugh, can you fuckwads not read? If I want a jump off, I need for him to test negative for any disease, especially that walking dead. Come on, now, especially black men- know your fucking status and get tested.
Then of course, there's the old guys old enough to be either my dad or my grandpa. Like Dre, I get these guys too but worse. There's this guy about 50 with a picture of his ass (which looked like 10 pounds of spoiled chocolate milk in a five pound bag) who hounds me about meeting up but can't seem to take a fucking hint. I ignored you for a reason: you're disgusting, now get the fuck off of my profile. Let's understand something: with me, ten years in either direction is too big an age difference. Even if I were 28, an 18 year old would still be too young for me. 36 isn't old, but another guy sends me a message on Valentine's Day asking me if I wanna come over, light up, and get it in. 48 is definitely too old for me, and this guy from Nebraska asks me if I'd like to host some fun.
Pause. Who in the silver satanic fuck told your wrinkled ass it was okay to ask me some shit like that? Why in the fuck would I bring this bitch to the place I lay my head, especially when he's from out of town? That's asking for all kinds of shit to happen.
Anyway, I just need these fuckwads to stay the far the fuck away from me.
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