So this is pretty much the most annoying fuckery. I got this ex, which for the sake of names, we'll just call Dumbass, who I was with for about 5 and a half years with a couple breaks in there. But basically, we were together that whole time really. Now, I've been through the ringer with Dumbass. Lies, cheating, bitch ass side hoes having the audacity to come for me as if I don't beat bitches down (mind you i say bitches without regard to sex, in this case, said bitch was a dude but a bitch is a bitch to me). We all have at least one person that we are just fucking stupid for. That person that we allow ourselves to put up with too much from until we finally hit that breaking point. I hit mine over a year and a half ago and have remained single ever since (despite confusion stemming from the jackass mentioned in the last post, I am most definitely single until such time as he slobs on my knob like corn on the cob, oh and maybe we have a discussion but the slobbing on the knob pretty much seals it. yes i'm petty and no i don't care).
So here's the fuckery. Dumbass always comes back around when he thinks I'm interested in someone else. He even asks about him. Bitch I might be but what business of it is yours? Oh, that's right. It only took me five and a half years to allow myself to see this but you don't want me yourself, you just don't want anyone else to have me. You egotistical, arrogant, deluded sum' bitch.
So get this shit. Dumbass has a whole new boyfriend who ironically has the same first name as me but that's about all we have in common cuz the dude is kinda special (no i don't mean good catch special i mean short bus special). Great, I'm legitimately happy for Dumbass because I was sure this meant he'd finally get off my dick. Just to make sure of this, I literally blocked him everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, twitter, and from my phone. Then this lil punk bitch goes and changes his number and calls me the other day. Now i don't answer the first time cuz i'm at work but i answer the second time cuz the area code is the one my mother is in and I'm thinking it's someone in the family. Instead, it's this raggedy bastard talking about he just wanted to give me his new number even though I never call him anyway. Bitch, I am pretty sure I kind of hate you. Like, if you fell face first off a cliff I would not give two fucks right now. I'm focused on me and you got a new dude. Focus on that dude. I did everything to make sure you could focus on him, but you calling me again to give me a new number and asking about who I'm with. So let me say this shit slow for you to get the point.
GET......OFF......MY......DICK......BITCH!!!!!
Goddamn, how hard is it to get that I ended our relationship. I walked away from you and every time you tried to restart it I made it clear that i do not want you. Damn I fucked another dude the week you left my house. That should prove the fucking point that you are not the only person worth plowing to me, right? To drive the point home further, I would rather go without sex the rest of my life than get back with you.
See the fuckery? Bitch don't even want me. Never really did. He wants what I can do for him. i.e. keeping a house together, keeping cars in driveways, bills paid, food on table, pretty damn good sex, and being loyal so he knows no one else is getting it, but he can do none of the same in return. Ol' ingrate ass bastard. Now I'm just gonna let Dumbass think I'm with the other idiot out of convenience. Meanwhile I need to block his new number cuz he has life fucked up. Bastard
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Indecisive people
Let me just hop right on into this fuckery right here. I hate an indecisive person. I'm not just talking about the bitch that never knows what she wants to eat either. I'm talking about the people that just don't know what they want in life.
Let me hit you on some real shit. I'm 29 years old. Looking 30 right in the eyes. I had a plan to be settled and with a family started by 30. This is something I've made abundantly clear to exes. This is something I made clear to people I thought had potential when they entered into my life. Now here's my mutha fuckin beef. If we meet and we vibe, and we on some chill type shit getting to know each other and I make it clear that while i wasn't rushing into a relationship cuz I know my goal I want to build up to one, one would think that the other person in question would make his intentions clear from the jump right? Not this indecisive bastard. Instead, we go on with my idea, then months down the road you hit me with the friends label, but you don't know how to stay in the friend zone. Bitch. If you want to be a friend. you cannot be questioning my whereabouts, what i do, who I'm with, who i'm fucking, what sites i'm on, and all that shit. STAY....IN....YO....MUTHA....FUCKIN....LANE....BITCH!!!
Then, being me, I help the fool cuz he down on his luck but this is a temporary thing cuz i got shit going on (i.e. building my family without a significant other, i got no issues with single parenthood cuz fuck relationships). So temporarily this fool is allowed to use my second bedroom (with restrictions, my house so only person fucking in here is me, only person bringing company is me. don't like it, GTFO). He can come and go as he pleases long as my basic requests are respected and he contributes something right? So that means when he vanishes for 2 and 3 days I don't give 2 fucks cuz we not together and his hoes not in my house. But why the fuck are you laid up with whichever ho you with and texting me worried about what I'm doing and trying to say shit like if i'm not happy you're not happy? Know what would make me happy? You either deciding to get on my dick or staying firmly the fuck in the friend zone you claimed to want to be in you ignorant cretin. Don't worry about what and who I'm doing. Go fuck yo ho, damn it. Then you come back and want to be all nice and shit, cooking dinner, spending time and shit. Uh, that's great, my dude, but I got shit to do that don't involve you. Know your role, bitch, know your role.
See, I know my role. I don't ask who he with, where he's at, or what they're doing. If he don't answer a text when he's out, I just assume he sucking some dick or eating some ass. Do you and text me back when you done but keep those details to yourself cuz we're not that type of friends. I stay in my mutha fuckin lane. He keep crossing over his. You ol' indecisive bastard. I hate that.
Lesson here, if you see what you want in someone, speak the fuck up. Don't hold that shit in and try to throw hints. People like me don't operate on those
Let me hit you on some real shit. I'm 29 years old. Looking 30 right in the eyes. I had a plan to be settled and with a family started by 30. This is something I've made abundantly clear to exes. This is something I made clear to people I thought had potential when they entered into my life. Now here's my mutha fuckin beef. If we meet and we vibe, and we on some chill type shit getting to know each other and I make it clear that while i wasn't rushing into a relationship cuz I know my goal I want to build up to one, one would think that the other person in question would make his intentions clear from the jump right? Not this indecisive bastard. Instead, we go on with my idea, then months down the road you hit me with the friends label, but you don't know how to stay in the friend zone. Bitch. If you want to be a friend. you cannot be questioning my whereabouts, what i do, who I'm with, who i'm fucking, what sites i'm on, and all that shit. STAY....IN....YO....MUTHA....FUCKIN....LANE....BITCH!!!
Then, being me, I help the fool cuz he down on his luck but this is a temporary thing cuz i got shit going on (i.e. building my family without a significant other, i got no issues with single parenthood cuz fuck relationships). So temporarily this fool is allowed to use my second bedroom (with restrictions, my house so only person fucking in here is me, only person bringing company is me. don't like it, GTFO). He can come and go as he pleases long as my basic requests are respected and he contributes something right? So that means when he vanishes for 2 and 3 days I don't give 2 fucks cuz we not together and his hoes not in my house. But why the fuck are you laid up with whichever ho you with and texting me worried about what I'm doing and trying to say shit like if i'm not happy you're not happy? Know what would make me happy? You either deciding to get on my dick or staying firmly the fuck in the friend zone you claimed to want to be in you ignorant cretin. Don't worry about what and who I'm doing. Go fuck yo ho, damn it. Then you come back and want to be all nice and shit, cooking dinner, spending time and shit. Uh, that's great, my dude, but I got shit to do that don't involve you. Know your role, bitch, know your role.
See, I know my role. I don't ask who he with, where he's at, or what they're doing. If he don't answer a text when he's out, I just assume he sucking some dick or eating some ass. Do you and text me back when you done but keep those details to yourself cuz we're not that type of friends. I stay in my mutha fuckin lane. He keep crossing over his. You ol' indecisive bastard. I hate that.
Lesson here, if you see what you want in someone, speak the fuck up. Don't hold that shit in and try to throw hints. People like me don't operate on those
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Stupid shit people lie about on dating/hookup sites
First off, let me say I realize it's been entirely too long since anything has been posted here. But I have lots of belligerence to share lately and this was always a great avenue to vent in so let's get to today's topic.
I'm not really sure if I've touched on this shit before, but people lie about the dumbest things when making their profiles on dating/hookup sites. I'm gonna touch on the shit that I've just stumbled across while browsing one that I have no idea why I keep returning to.
1. Age-now, this seems to be extremely common in the gay community especially. You either have the underage boys lying saying they're of age, which are easier to spot, or you have the old ass dudes trying to say they're younger. Example: One dude I know I've fucked with before currently says he's 39 on his profile. Now, problem with this is, I'm 29 and you have a son my age. Bitch you did not make your son at age 10. You're 49. Don't lie. And the sad part, he has no reason to lie anyway cuz the body is still banging anyway so most of the young cats will let you hit at least once anyway.
2. Body type/shape: people, let's be real. You are not slim if you're 5'6" and weight 190 pounds or more. At that weight you're either buff as hell or you're somewhere between thick and fat, probably fat.
3. What they're looking for: this shit right here will get your feelings hurt when you approach someone like me. See, I actually read your entire profile when you approach me. So if you profile said you were looking for people to get to know, that aren't just trying to fuck you, you trying to settle down and start a family etc, but as soon as you hit my inbox you trying to fuck, I'm immediately uninterested. It's not the fact that you want to hook up. To each their own and if I'm having a moment I'm likely to indulge some of the more attractive people. It's the fact that you can't stick to your guns. On the flip side, if your profile says you want to fuck but now you want to have deep conversation, you are a jumpoff trying to upgrade yourself to boyfriend/girlfriend status and need to update your profile to reflect what you want. Honesty people, it's not that fucking hard.
4. Pics: This is a loaded issue. Now the site I use allows you to lock your pics if you don't want them public and unlock them for specific people. So, first issue, there's no reason not to have a pic up, i don't give an iota of a fuck how DL you claim you are. Then you say stupid shit like I'll text or email you a pic. No jackass just load one on the site and unlock it like the rest of us then lock it after I've seen it. Next issue within this issue, the bitches using fake pics that think we don't know they're using fake pics. If you are using the pic of a thirst trap from instagram, trust me friend, I know if you're the actual person or not. Be real with this shit cuz if we meet and you not this fine as person in this pic, I'm going to turn right back around and leave. Next issue within an issue, people using way old pic. Don't be using that cute as pic of you fresh out of high school when you were at a solid 150 and you know you gained a good 150 since then. And next, don't do that shit when you upload only a pic of your face at an angle trying to hide the rest of your body. There's someone for everyone. That person may not be me, but someone out there will like it. Oh, and don't do that dumb shit where you post a whole body pic but you try extra hard to make the ass look fat when you know you got a flat wide ass. Work with what you got, boo, work with what you got.
Couple other things:
1. Learn how to carry on a goddamn convo: I didn't think this would be that hard but some form of conversation has to be had, especially if you say you just want to chat. Bitch have something to fucking chat about
2. One word responses imply a lack of interest: if you're interested, don't give them. If you're getting them from the other person, you're boring them.
3. Be consistent, damn. Don't start up with a good ass getting to know a person convo one day, and the next day you just trying to get in the drawers. That pisses me off
4. Be upfront damn it. You know what you want, you know what you're attracted to. Stop playing with people's feelings then wondering how the fuck yo dumb ass ends up with stalkers or why you can't settle down and find someone that actually loves yo stupid ass
5. Don't whine about your ex to someone you just met. Bitch, I don't care how dirty they did you in the slightest. I don't know you. That's what your friends are for. I'm just a random dude online trying to alleviate some boredom. You ca tell me all that shit if you're actually a semi interesting person that I decide is worth trying to be with when I decide I want to know why you're single. Til then, shut the fuck up
6. Realistically, if it's 3 in the damn morning and you suggest meeting up, there's only one thing on your mind. And it ain't goddamn videogames. It ain't watching a movie. It ain't getting to know each other. Don't insult anyone's intelligence. You're trying to smash or get smashed. Can we not bullshit around that point if I deem it worth my time to agree to meet at such an hour? If we meeting at that time of morning, be ready to slob on my knob like corn on the cob and cut out all the mutha fuckin small talk. Shit!!!!
I think that about wraps this up. I'm gonna have to get back on this cuz I'm sure I have many more topics to post on. Comment if you got more to add on to my list or if you have another topic for me to post on
I'm not really sure if I've touched on this shit before, but people lie about the dumbest things when making their profiles on dating/hookup sites. I'm gonna touch on the shit that I've just stumbled across while browsing one that I have no idea why I keep returning to.
1. Age-now, this seems to be extremely common in the gay community especially. You either have the underage boys lying saying they're of age, which are easier to spot, or you have the old ass dudes trying to say they're younger. Example: One dude I know I've fucked with before currently says he's 39 on his profile. Now, problem with this is, I'm 29 and you have a son my age. Bitch you did not make your son at age 10. You're 49. Don't lie. And the sad part, he has no reason to lie anyway cuz the body is still banging anyway so most of the young cats will let you hit at least once anyway.
2. Body type/shape: people, let's be real. You are not slim if you're 5'6" and weight 190 pounds or more. At that weight you're either buff as hell or you're somewhere between thick and fat, probably fat.
3. What they're looking for: this shit right here will get your feelings hurt when you approach someone like me. See, I actually read your entire profile when you approach me. So if you profile said you were looking for people to get to know, that aren't just trying to fuck you, you trying to settle down and start a family etc, but as soon as you hit my inbox you trying to fuck, I'm immediately uninterested. It's not the fact that you want to hook up. To each their own and if I'm having a moment I'm likely to indulge some of the more attractive people. It's the fact that you can't stick to your guns. On the flip side, if your profile says you want to fuck but now you want to have deep conversation, you are a jumpoff trying to upgrade yourself to boyfriend/girlfriend status and need to update your profile to reflect what you want. Honesty people, it's not that fucking hard.
4. Pics: This is a loaded issue. Now the site I use allows you to lock your pics if you don't want them public and unlock them for specific people. So, first issue, there's no reason not to have a pic up, i don't give an iota of a fuck how DL you claim you are. Then you say stupid shit like I'll text or email you a pic. No jackass just load one on the site and unlock it like the rest of us then lock it after I've seen it. Next issue within this issue, the bitches using fake pics that think we don't know they're using fake pics. If you are using the pic of a thirst trap from instagram, trust me friend, I know if you're the actual person or not. Be real with this shit cuz if we meet and you not this fine as person in this pic, I'm going to turn right back around and leave. Next issue within an issue, people using way old pic. Don't be using that cute as pic of you fresh out of high school when you were at a solid 150 and you know you gained a good 150 since then. And next, don't do that shit when you upload only a pic of your face at an angle trying to hide the rest of your body. There's someone for everyone. That person may not be me, but someone out there will like it. Oh, and don't do that dumb shit where you post a whole body pic but you try extra hard to make the ass look fat when you know you got a flat wide ass. Work with what you got, boo, work with what you got.
Couple other things:
1. Learn how to carry on a goddamn convo: I didn't think this would be that hard but some form of conversation has to be had, especially if you say you just want to chat. Bitch have something to fucking chat about
2. One word responses imply a lack of interest: if you're interested, don't give them. If you're getting them from the other person, you're boring them.
3. Be consistent, damn. Don't start up with a good ass getting to know a person convo one day, and the next day you just trying to get in the drawers. That pisses me off
4. Be upfront damn it. You know what you want, you know what you're attracted to. Stop playing with people's feelings then wondering how the fuck yo dumb ass ends up with stalkers or why you can't settle down and find someone that actually loves yo stupid ass
5. Don't whine about your ex to someone you just met. Bitch, I don't care how dirty they did you in the slightest. I don't know you. That's what your friends are for. I'm just a random dude online trying to alleviate some boredom. You ca tell me all that shit if you're actually a semi interesting person that I decide is worth trying to be with when I decide I want to know why you're single. Til then, shut the fuck up
6. Realistically, if it's 3 in the damn morning and you suggest meeting up, there's only one thing on your mind. And it ain't goddamn videogames. It ain't watching a movie. It ain't getting to know each other. Don't insult anyone's intelligence. You're trying to smash or get smashed. Can we not bullshit around that point if I deem it worth my time to agree to meet at such an hour? If we meeting at that time of morning, be ready to slob on my knob like corn on the cob and cut out all the mutha fuckin small talk. Shit!!!!
I think that about wraps this up. I'm gonna have to get back on this cuz I'm sure I have many more topics to post on. Comment if you got more to add on to my list or if you have another topic for me to post on
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