Stupid Ass Coworkers

You cannot believe the type of fuckery I have dealt with the past couple of days from dumb ass coworkers. This is becoming an epidemic. This brand of fuckery just begs someone to lose their little job by smacking the shit out of an idiot. There are legitimate retards that could tell some of the things these idiots do are wrong. So let's get it.

Example One: Saturday, yesterday, I come to work. It's supposed to be a chill, laid back day because that's just how we do on Saturdays. This dumb ass dude comes in and I can immediately tell something ain't right. He's so extra random that I finally have to ask him is he high. He says he got drunk the night before and didn't sleep more than an hour before he came in so he's still tipsy. Ok, but he's more than tipsy. And if you show up to work hung over or slightly tipsy from the night before, isn't your goal supposed to be sobering up so your stupid ass doesn't get sent for an immediate drug and alcohol test? Pretty sure it is a violation of every company's policy to come to work drunk. I know it is at my job. So this moron is loud, obnoxious, and an angry drunk. How the fuck do you come to work drunk and decide to be an angry drunk? This shit baffles me. And one of my coworkers did her best to deflect because he's drawing attention to our corner of the room. This dude straight went off about his watch, saying it cost more than our whole outfits.

Pause. Where the blue fuck did that come from firstly? Secondly, bitch you spent 300 dollars on a watch? Does that mutha fucka book appointments and shit for you? If not, you overpaid. No one was even messing with him and he just went off. Then you been messing up shit all day because you drunk and you steady drinking. He even bugged some people to get him another beer from the gas station. The fuck? No, take yo' drunk ass home and get the fuck out of my face.

Example Two: The know-it-all bitch. These bitches piss me off the worse. These are the ones quick to come over and tell someone else how to do their job but can't do it themselves. Let me focus on just one, and I'm gonna call this bitch Poodle. Why? Because the stupid ho came to work with what looked like a poodle on top of her head. First problem, bitch loves to go tell people what they did wrong on something but just the other day i got four of her orders in a row and the shit was way wrong. She been there at least a year, I just started two months ago. Every time I get one of her orders they're wrong. But she wants to talk shit. To everyone but me, which is good for her because I'm tempted to knock her wig off her head as it is. Then, she sits and talks about people. This bitch has no shape, dimples in random places on her ass, and is always in stretch pants. And I stress that she came in with what looked like a goddamn poodle on her head. And all that aside, she still wouldn't be cute. She has an obnoxious ass loud ass laugh and no home training according to those that sit by her. She belches like a man and apparently won't hesitate to fart and will get offended if someone says something to her about it. This bitch needs to choke, immediately.

Example Three: The fake bitches. I can't stand a bitch want to laugh and joke with you one day but turn her nose up at you the next. Look ho, I ain't done shit to you. Don't flip flop on me. If you gonna be cool with me, be cool. If you don't like me, keep your distance. But don't turn your nose up at me like you think you're better or something because that's the shit that will get a bitch's feelings hurt.

Understand, I don't come to work to make friends. That's just a side effect. But I don't come to work to deal with the afforementioned bullshit either. Stupid ass coworkers and the fuckery they bring make me contemplate how good I really look in orange sometimes.

Cheaters

So, this topic hits a little close to home. Many of us have been cheated on, myself included. For some of us, it gets to the point where you can spot a cheater from a mile away and keep it pushing. You eventually become so used to it and come across so many different ways to be cheated on that you become almost a human lie detector. For those that haven't, let's examine the fuckery that is a cheater in this day and age.

Now, the number one way to catch a cheater is through their cell phone. Seriously, cell phones are the cause of the end of so many relationships. Why? Because cheaters always use text messaging. They save numbers and only a select few are smart enough to save them under a name already in the phone. Ah, but that's a catch 22 right there. Because lets say you save it under your best friend's name and you forget to delete a message or a message comes through while you're with your significant other that is not something that should come from a friend. Oh, then that little lightbulb kicks on. Now we have smart phones and the added risk of the apps you use to connect to certain websites. These include facebook and twitter as well as dating apps.

Pause. Let me just state, if you got someone and you're stupid enough to put an app to a dating site on your phone while you're with them, you deserve the ass kicking you're gonna get if your other half is anything like me. Seriously, you have to be a complete novice to get caught like this.

Anyway, the shit in your phone gets you cheaters caught all the time. You may think you were being smart using facebook messages or twitter DMs but i bet your dumb ass thought since your other half doesn't have your password it wouldn't be a problem? Can your other half get in your phone? Is it logged into any app you use to do your dirt? If the answer is yes to any of these, guess what, you're fucked.

Now, I know a few other ways to catch that ass up too. You thought you had your bases covered by keeping those clean, right? Wrong. Next up, email. Oh you stupid fucks that manage to clean out those other inboxes always forget the email. You might clean out your inbox and maybe you clean the trash out too. But here's where you fuck up. You leave the spam folder full. I'm gonna give you a few seconds to digest that................lost yet? Let me break it down for you. Your inbox is completely clean. So is your trash folder. Spam is full. Why? Your trash folder should probably never be empty. It automatically clears old messages after a month anyway. Why are you cleaning it out? Because you got something to hide. It's the little shit that catches your dumb ass up.

But what if you don't use these sites and emails to do your dirt? Think you're off the hook? Think because you don't text and don't let that hoe call your phone you're in the clear? Nope, let me dispel the next little trick. You hoes get a friend in to help cover your ass. I love catching hoes like this. You use a friend and try to catch your other half on a technicality. You say you're going to hang with this friend, one we know well enough. And you do....only that friend brings your hoe with them. And every one of you that tries that trick lets that shit slip. Want to know how? You have the conversation and you inevitably ask a question. This question has to do with who else is coming. And you fumble over the name. You don't want to say the hoe's actual name. So you say something generic and think you covered your ass. No, bitch, you didn't. I heard that slip and now I know what's up.

Oh, but you think you got a way around that problem, right? You'll just check in every hour or so and that gets you off the hook, right? Wrong bitch, because if you normally don't check in why the fuck are you doing it now? You nervous and you trying to make sure I don't show up unannounced wherever you are. Stupid ass, I'm not gonna do that because I know class goes out the window when you catch a hoe in the act.

Let me touch on one more way to get caught in the act. Scent. Scent will always give your ass away. First thing, if you bring your ass in my house smelling like a soap that isn't currently in my house (assuming we live together) or the soap you normally use (because I'm a fucking pro i memorize this shit), we about to have a misunderstanding. Secondly, if only your genitals smell like soap but the rest of you is sweaty, I'm about to click the fuck out. Third, if you come to kiss me and I smell dick on your breath (or pussy, whatever the case may be), prepare to lose your teeth. Fourth, if I go down there and I smell a scent that is not you and definitely is not me, you might be about to bleed out.

Pause. If at any point in this last paragraph you thought I was talking about cologne or perfume scents, choke twice. Every human being has an actual scent that is always attached to them. When I get with someone, I memorize their scent and my scent on them. I will always know the difference.

One more. Let's talk about condoms. If you and the person you're supposed to be with don't use condoms, you should never, ever be caught with condoms on you or in your apartment. If you do, keep track of the number. I do just so I can catch that hoe cheating. And I'm never wrong. I never miscount. I know how many condoms I keep and where I keep them. I also know how and where I dispose of them, so if I run up on a used one, I know it's not mine and you cannot convince me otherwise.

So you may ask how I would and have handled these situations. First off, let me say, jail isn't fun so keep your temper in check. Never, ever go where they are without someone to hold you back from hitting this hoe until they stop breathing. Because trust me, even the mildest mannered person can click out when catching the person they love with someone else. Here's how I handle it. First, I make sure I'm not just being paranoid. I gather the evidence. Then, I present it when we're alone, probably at improper or inopportune times for them. Like when they think I'm about to put it on them. Or when they just got home. Or when they're good and sleep so they're less likely to think up lies to cover their ass......you get my point right? Get in where you fit in. You know this hoe enough to think they're cheating. Get that ass when they're vulnerable, and always face to face. Gotta read the facial expressions.

To you cheaters out there, yes, I just put several holes in your game. Fuck y'all. You make it hard on those of us that are faithful. And I'm tired of dealing with the shit you put people through when I'm the most faithful mutha fucka around. I'm real tired of you thinking you got game and can pull the wool over our eyes. Fuck that. I got that ass always. The fuckery you bring can't compare to the master of mind fucks. And these are just a few ways, nowhere near all, that I catch this type of fuckery going on. If you've been cheated on, step your game up to keep on top of that shit as it happens. Trust me, by the time you gather the evidence, you will have already let your heart break and begun piecing it back together, so when you kick that hoe to the curb, it won't hurt so much.

Ratchetness and Thirst in the Workplace

I don't know about you, but this shit drives me up the wall. I don't deal well with ratchet hoes and thirsty ass dudes. They just irk me. Rachets stand out immediately to me. Upon starting my job, these are the loudmouth ass broads asking if there's any men in the training class this time.

Bitch, why is it important? Seriously, do you really want to mess with someone you work with? Been there, done that, hell the fuck no. Secondly, only the thirstiest of dudes are trying to get at the things I see. How the fuck are you trying to get a dude in a shirt three sizes too small with a poodle sitting on top of your head and you smell like feet wrapped in leathery burned bacon. I already said I don't deal well with stupid hoes, but these hoes take the cake. So you sitting here in your way too small shirt, talking mad shit with your ratchet ass friends. Then you notice this dude. Might be attractive. Dressed real nice. Uh oh, he might have some money.

Pause. Bitch, listen at the thoughts entering your mind right now. He might have money? Didn't he just start this place? And doesn't he come in making less than you? But he might have money? Right. So tell me, why would he want your ratchet ass? What do you have to offer him? You're just a hole he can fill for a few minutes long enough to get his nut off and then you're done. Useless. Discarded like trash. Bitch sit down and do some work. I know this is a novel idea, but they do pay your punk ass to work.

But there's that question. Why am I talking about these bitches like this? Simple, because as soon as the group of ratchets spot this dude, they gotta get him. How do they go about this? Degrading each other of course. Soon as one walks away, they talk bad about her. You're all ratchets but you gotta turn on another ratchet and pick on how ratchet she is. Do you honestly think this is appealing to this man to watch? No, it's amusing. You hoes are entertainment. And if he's a real man and he's got a woman, he's telling her so she can get a good laugh.

Pause. Now about the good woman. See, this woman has two options for dealing with the ratchets. She could come up to the job, catch a ratchet on the parking lot, and beat that ass. Or she could ignore you because she's secure that her man doesn't want a ratchet hoe because she's the best thing he ever had or will have. But, if you push her far enough, she will revert to option two and beware ratchets, because while some of you can handle yourself, too many of you talk shit only to get beat down.

Now, let's get on to thirsty ass dudes. These give real men a bad name. They are the reason women say men ain't shit. Thirsty ones are generally semi good looking. Probably not extraordinary. Just ordinary. They may or may not have some game. Probably not. They think they do because it's always a few stupid hoes that fall for the bullshit that bleeds from their pores.

Need an example? You know I will provide. So, I come to my new job and we enter into training. I'm one of the three dudes in the group. Ain't shit in this place worth looking at or fucking with. I'm here to make this money and take my ass home. It immediately becomes obvious who the thirsty dude in the class is. I call him all manner of names, from Stupid to just Thirsty. For the sake of this blog, I'm calling this dude Thirsty. So, now that we've established who the thirst belongs to, let's show the proof. First, we have a set of twins in the office. They established that they are twins. So, we go in the break room and he catches one of them and asks her who's older, her or her sister. She says her sister. He asks by how much, like one year, two years?

Pause. Bitch, what? They're twins. Mutha fuckin literal twins. As in born on the same day from the same mother within minutes of each other, TWINS. So me being the ignant bastard I am, I spoke up. I defined twins for the idiot because the girl was straight flabbergasted. We go back to the training room. About an hour later, I find out he's emailing the girl about the exact same thing and she is irritated. Mind you, we had just gone through the sexual harrassment presentation and this is directly in violation of that. Dumb ass. But ok, move on to another day. We have a Spanish speaking rep. She comes in, he's the first one to try to talk to her. Asking her name, where she's from, blah blah blah. The thirst is apparent in his eyes. He thinks he can get the foreign chick. But he's not done yet. Of course it wouldn't be complete if he didn't come onto at least one girl in training with us. And, interesting fact, every chick he's tried so far has a man, one of whom has a man that works there with us. The girl in training he can't approach himself, so he has another one ask for him. Now, I don't remember the exact wording he used. Something about I'm not trying to be your man, I'm just trying to take you out. Really? That whack ass line is what you came at he with. We knew what that meant mutha fucka. You want to smash her and gone about your business. She was too good for that one.

He gets no play, so naturally, his last resort are the ratchets.

Now this shit is funny. These ratchets want men with money. He has none. This dusty ass dude has three kids, one of whom is almost as old as some of the girls he's hitting on. He's thirty eight. Has no car. Gets dropped off by what can only be his gal several times a week. When she doesn't drop him off, he's on the bus. Now Thirsty, you know full well a ratchet hoe don't want your broke ass. And you sound stupid as shit so they're not likely to give you a test run. You sir, are fuckery cubed. Choke, twice.

This shit is a daily cycle at my job and I know other people feel me on this. Most of us work to pay bills. We don't come in to find a man or a woman. If you disagree with this, you're ratchet and/or thirsty and need to choke twice.

Now I'm gonna wrap this up but hey, use the suggestions box to give me some topics. I'm pretty sure you'll be hard pressed to find a topic I don't have an opinion on. Share the fuckery you find.

Indie Music Artists

I'm gonna be semi nice and not blast one of these fucks by sharing their little YouTube video here, but I'm going to speak on this up and coming phenomenon of local rappers. This shit pisses me off. You're all up in my twitter feed, tagging me in your music video links. Now, let's not get it twisted. If your music is good, I'm all for it. But all of a sudden every moron with an old school keyboard or with a little extra cash to afford some studio time thinks they've got talent. They get real hype on this shit too. They're just so happy that they hear themselves on a recording with what they feel is a hype beat and some dope rhymes.

Ok, bitch, let me bust your bubble on this particular bit of fuckery. First off, just because you got a music app on your phone, or one of those keyboards that acts as a recorder, or a friend who tossed you some studio time, does not mean you are a rapper. Just because you manage to rhyme a few words together does not mean you have actual talent. Step back and let someone not related to you or friends with you review that shit before you get excited.

Your bubble still there? Let me break this shit down further. Ok, so you made your little song. You're feeling it. Couple other people are feeling it. Stop. Go listen to the radio. If anything on that bitch sounds like the song you just made, don't release that shit. Why? Because if you sound like the shit polluting my air waves, such as Lil Wayne, I don't give a fuck how many records that little gremlin sells, it's garbage. Pure garbage. But at least he got his own shit. You're biting of this dude? Really? You're unoriginal. Or maybe you bit off Drake or someone like that? Don't give a fuck. Here's why you'll always be only a local or indie artist. People, especially people like me, hate hearing most shit that's on the radio. But what we hate even more is a mutha fucka with no originality.

Here's a fucking thought. You want to be a rapper? Come with something deep. If you come with nothing but club bangers that's all you'll ever be, and only locally. Step back and examine your life. Find something with some meaning to talk about.

Pause. Let me interject something right here. When I say deep, I don't mean baby mama drama. I came across a group of dudes did a whole song dissing their baby mamas. First off, that's childish in and of itself. But add to this that I know all these dudes and they're bums. None of you are trying to take care of your kids. What? You think one phone call a month is taking care of them or actually trying to? Let me break this down to you as the dude that fills in for lames like you. That ain't shit. Trying taking your ass to work and busting a 70 hour work week to make sure that baby has food, a roof over their head, lights, heat, and air conditioning. Also, clothes, shoes, school supplies, oh and try not being able to go hang out with friends because you have a baby at home that needs your attention. You got a bum baby mama? Do for the kid and save each and every receipt so when she gets ratchet you have proof. Back on topic, don't be a fucking lame ass sperm donor and then diss the baby mama in a song like she the only one in the wrong. You show, with this type of music, that you're not a man. You're a peon, a nothing, and you're wasting our time with your music.

Going back to the point, reflect thoughtfully on something. Love, loss, trying to grow into the man you envision yourself as, etc. I'm begging a rapper to come on some real stuff. Not this same garbage I hear on the radio.

Another thing, don't download your own shit repeatedly so it shows in your friend's facebook feed. Bitch that's just desperate. You look thirsty. I know you want to get your shit out there. Know how you do that? Get that shit on the radio. There are DJs everywhere that will look for you local artists and if your shit is good, they'll play you. They might not be on the major radio stations, but you gotta start somewhere. Do not sit and repeatedly download your shit, or start playing your shit trying to remind people on Facebook. Mutha fucka I saw it the first six thousand times you posted that shit. Goddamn if the shit was good I'd have gotten that instead of that book I bought as my personal treat.

And of course I have to touch on you fuckers thinking this is a get rich quick thing. No artist gets rich quick. If you got into this shit thinking you're going to make instant money, get the fuck outta here. If you really want to make it in the music business, or any other art related business, it takes time, work, and some money outta your own fucking pocket. If you just in it for money, you're not going to make it. Go back to your damn day job.

I have come across very few indie artists I actually like. The few that I like, believe me, I let them know personally. We speak, I tell them what I like about the music, I show appreciation as a fan, and they know to tag me in anything they do that's pertinent because I will support those truly talented that are contributing to the world of music. If your music doesn't make me think or feel something, it's not worth it. Meaning, I should be inspired to write, I should feel like dancing, I should be thinking about your words, I should feel happy or sad, hell I should even feel horny if that's the point of the song. And let's face it, a lot of you try sex songs thinking that shit sounds good. No, just no. If your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard, leave the sex subject alone. If you think you got a big dick and know how to use it, as the song goes, leave the sex subject alone. Bitch you're full of yourself and not realizing hoes lie too to make your dumb ass feel like you're doing something during. Stick to subject matter you fucking know.

Now, if all you know is the club, then do club music. That's great. Just don't expect to get very far unless your beats and rhymes are completely original. Then you can at least make it on a larger scale in the clubs. But if you know you're a bum, if you know you've got no style, no fashion sense, nothing redeeming about your mutha fuckin self. Stay off my feed. Stop tagging me on Facebook and Twitter in your shitacular music. I don't want to hear it if it's not new and innovative. I better get into that shit from the first mutha fuckin word. If you have to ask yourself before you send it to me or someone like me if I or they would like it, then the answer is no bitch and don't send that shit. I forgive it once. But every time you post? That's the shit that gets people cussed the fuck out and if I happen to actually know you, I will slap the shit outta you and ask you what the fuck you were thinking. In case you're not getting it, if you're an indie artist, the first tweet you sent to me was enough. I checked your shit. If I didn't subscribe to your channel or tweet you back, your shit was lame. Don't bug me with it.

And please, if you happen to know me personally, don't automatically assume I'm gonna support you and promote you and you're not promoting me. That is just fuckery squared. You won't promote me and my ventures, but I'm supposed to promote you? Who the fuck does that? You never know who is into my type of wares. You might know some hood dudes that are secretly nerds. You support my shit, I support yours. You not supporting me and what I do? Fuck you and yo' couch. That is the type of fuckery I'm simply not going to deal with.

What Manner of Fuckery.....First Post

Ok, so here's the deal. I need a blog where I can be as belligerent as I want without alienating business prospects. Therefore, here it is. Need to know the meaning of the name? Generally I find myself surrounded by fuckery. Copious amounts of fuckery. So I decided to address this fuckery each time I see it in detail for others to sit back and process the shit I see and deal with on a daily basis. So without further ado let's get to the fuckery, shall we?

Ok, the first bit of fuckery I simply must address are stupid hoes. This is the reason for the above video. Not her biggest fan, but the song plays in my head when I meet a stupid hoe. There are all manner of stupid hoes, but there's a particular type that just grates on my nerves. That's the stupid hoe in denial. Also, the term stupid hoe is a general term and is not exclusive to either sex. A hoe is a hoe.

There is nothing less appealing in the world than a desperate hoe. That is the most irritating shit in the world. It's amusing to watch sometimes though. Need an example? I got one for you. Ever seen a hoe desperate for a man? Of course, but I'm talking the ones that are so desperate for a man that they marry one that they know is wrong. They marry a dude with no notion of monogamy in his mind. He doesn't love her, and she doesn't love him. But the two hoes marry each other. Why? Because the female needs someone to play the role and occasionally make her feel loved the only way she knows how to feel love. Basically she needs this nimrod to fuck her brains out. He marries her cuz he's that special type of male hoe, the marriage hungry hoe.   He wants a wife, but can't remain faithful. He just needs her to essentially take over for mommy. She has to be the one handling his business, if he has any, and paying his bills while he generally sits at home. Occasionally he works, but that's mainly to shut the female up for a minute and he'll quit for any stupid ass reason.

What's the deal with a marriage hungry hoe? These hoes get on my nerves. This brand of stupid hoe is the very definition of a hoe, but they crave marriage. They will marry the first person that asks or agrees to marry them solely for the title. However, do they know how to stay faithful? Depends. Some do, but most don't.

I address this for a reason. I have had the displeasure of dealing with a stupid hoe recently that just pisses me off at every turn. I hate desperate stupid hoes. Seriously, if you married a dude that you knew full fucking well was the biggest slutbucket walking, you're exceedingly stupid. But this bitch married him, and there are several problems with this. He's her rebound, and she's just the stupid hoe that will actually take care of his stupid ass when he decides being a man is too hard. Oh, and here's the next fun part. The fuckwit is a closest case. Yeah, this idiot wants the dick. It's not even that hard to pick up on. He wants some dick and the right one will most certainly give it to him. Especially if the person giving him the dick knows her. They'd do it to piss her dumb ass off. But, ok, let's ignore the closet case status and focus on this. He's a total whore. See, what she doesn't know is he's in contact with several of his exes and some of the hoes she calls friend are totally fucking him behind her back. He has a few groupies and he's fucking them too. This dude has so many hoes on his dick it's not funny, and this stupid hoe just acts like she's blind to it. Then when forced to deal with it, she blows up, blasts his ass on facebook, and ends it.....for about a day. If she can even last that long.

Want more? Because there's more. She marries the idiot and then tags him in every post possible. When she sees that's not enough, they both delete their personal pages and start a joint page. Yeah, I'm going to give you a few seconds to let that shit settle in .................................................................................................................................................
Bitch are you serious? A fucking joint page. Who in the blue fuck makes joint facebook pages. Not a fan page, a joint personal page. Who in the blue fuck does this retarded shit? That's right, stupid hoes. Sadly, she thinks this will stop him from fucking other hoes. Wrong again, stupid bitch. He also has a page she doesn't know about. Damn this hoe is stupid. He has a profile on Tagged she knows nothing about. And knowing him, he probably has another facebook that he logs in and out of that's under a different name. He still controls his own twitter. I bet this dude has an OBC (online booty call) page and maybe even a bgclive page (gay dating/sex site). She thinks she's controlling him, she thinks she has him under her thumb. And she has pretty much alienated his long standing friends and one of the best friends ever to happen to him. She thinks they're threats. Ah, stupid hoe. They're only threats when you make them threats. Then, she does something that just annoys me to no end; she post on Facebook about any and every thing they're doing. Hoe, I don't need to know you and your stupid ass husband just fucked. No one needs to know that. But I guess she thought that would make the other hoes back off. That's where you're wrong again, and why you eternally have the title of stupid hoe. The other hoes are laughing at you. Bet you one of them is just thinking, "I hope you like my taste on his lips." Because he's that type of ingrate. He will fuck another bitch, come home, and fuck her too. Why? Because she dumb enough to let him. She's that type of stupid hoe that will convince herself she doesn't smell twat on his breath. He just ate something that made his breath stink. Hell, I wonder if she would even realize if she smelled dick on his breath. That would be amusing. Perhaps we should find that out. Maybe later.

Ok, I've gone on long enough. But seriously. You's a stupid hoe. You make me sing the end of that video I posted with this. Go ahead, if you know a stupid hoe, sing the fucking song. You's a stuuuuuuuuuuupid hoe!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

No really, I'm done now.