First off, let me say I realize it's been entirely too long since anything has been posted here. But I have lots of belligerence to share lately and this was always a great avenue to vent in so let's get to today's topic.
I'm not really sure if I've touched on this shit before, but people lie about the dumbest things when making their profiles on dating/hookup sites. I'm gonna touch on the shit that I've just stumbled across while browsing one that I have no idea why I keep returning to.
1. Age-now, this seems to be extremely common in the gay community especially. You either have the underage boys lying saying they're of age, which are easier to spot, or you have the old ass dudes trying to say they're younger. Example: One dude I know I've fucked with before currently says he's 39 on his profile. Now, problem with this is, I'm 29 and you have a son my age. Bitch you did not make your son at age 10. You're 49. Don't lie. And the sad part, he has no reason to lie anyway cuz the body is still banging anyway so most of the young cats will let you hit at least once anyway.
2. Body type/shape: people, let's be real. You are not slim if you're 5'6" and weight 190 pounds or more. At that weight you're either buff as hell or you're somewhere between thick and fat, probably fat.
3. What they're looking for: this shit right here will get your feelings hurt when you approach someone like me. See, I actually read your entire profile when you approach me. So if you profile said you were looking for people to get to know, that aren't just trying to fuck you, you trying to settle down and start a family etc, but as soon as you hit my inbox you trying to fuck, I'm immediately uninterested. It's not the fact that you want to hook up. To each their own and if I'm having a moment I'm likely to indulge some of the more attractive people. It's the fact that you can't stick to your guns. On the flip side, if your profile says you want to fuck but now you want to have deep conversation, you are a jumpoff trying to upgrade yourself to boyfriend/girlfriend status and need to update your profile to reflect what you want. Honesty people, it's not that fucking hard.
4. Pics: This is a loaded issue. Now the site I use allows you to lock your pics if you don't want them public and unlock them for specific people. So, first issue, there's no reason not to have a pic up, i don't give an iota of a fuck how DL you claim you are. Then you say stupid shit like I'll text or email you a pic. No jackass just load one on the site and unlock it like the rest of us then lock it after I've seen it. Next issue within this issue, the bitches using fake pics that think we don't know they're using fake pics. If you are using the pic of a thirst trap from instagram, trust me friend, I know if you're the actual person or not. Be real with this shit cuz if we meet and you not this fine as person in this pic, I'm going to turn right back around and leave. Next issue within an issue, people using way old pic. Don't be using that cute as pic of you fresh out of high school when you were at a solid 150 and you know you gained a good 150 since then. And next, don't do that shit when you upload only a pic of your face at an angle trying to hide the rest of your body. There's someone for everyone. That person may not be me, but someone out there will like it. Oh, and don't do that dumb shit where you post a whole body pic but you try extra hard to make the ass look fat when you know you got a flat wide ass. Work with what you got, boo, work with what you got.
Couple other things:
1. Learn how to carry on a goddamn convo: I didn't think this would be that hard but some form of conversation has to be had, especially if you say you just want to chat. Bitch have something to fucking chat about
2. One word responses imply a lack of interest: if you're interested, don't give them. If you're getting them from the other person, you're boring them.
3. Be consistent, damn. Don't start up with a good ass getting to know a person convo one day, and the next day you just trying to get in the drawers. That pisses me off
4. Be upfront damn it. You know what you want, you know what you're attracted to. Stop playing with people's feelings then wondering how the fuck yo dumb ass ends up with stalkers or why you can't settle down and find someone that actually loves yo stupid ass
5. Don't whine about your ex to someone you just met. Bitch, I don't care how dirty they did you in the slightest. I don't know you. That's what your friends are for. I'm just a random dude online trying to alleviate some boredom. You ca tell me all that shit if you're actually a semi interesting person that I decide is worth trying to be with when I decide I want to know why you're single. Til then, shut the fuck up
6. Realistically, if it's 3 in the damn morning and you suggest meeting up, there's only one thing on your mind. And it ain't goddamn videogames. It ain't watching a movie. It ain't getting to know each other. Don't insult anyone's intelligence. You're trying to smash or get smashed. Can we not bullshit around that point if I deem it worth my time to agree to meet at such an hour? If we meeting at that time of morning, be ready to slob on my knob like corn on the cob and cut out all the mutha fuckin small talk. Shit!!!!
I think that about wraps this up. I'm gonna have to get back on this cuz I'm sure I have many more topics to post on. Comment if you got more to add on to my list or if you have another topic for me to post on
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