Stupid Ass Coworkers

You cannot believe the type of fuckery I have dealt with the past couple of days from dumb ass coworkers. This is becoming an epidemic. This brand of fuckery just begs someone to lose their little job by smacking the shit out of an idiot. There are legitimate retards that could tell some of the things these idiots do are wrong. So let's get it.

Example One: Saturday, yesterday, I come to work. It's supposed to be a chill, laid back day because that's just how we do on Saturdays. This dumb ass dude comes in and I can immediately tell something ain't right. He's so extra random that I finally have to ask him is he high. He says he got drunk the night before and didn't sleep more than an hour before he came in so he's still tipsy. Ok, but he's more than tipsy. And if you show up to work hung over or slightly tipsy from the night before, isn't your goal supposed to be sobering up so your stupid ass doesn't get sent for an immediate drug and alcohol test? Pretty sure it is a violation of every company's policy to come to work drunk. I know it is at my job. So this moron is loud, obnoxious, and an angry drunk. How the fuck do you come to work drunk and decide to be an angry drunk? This shit baffles me. And one of my coworkers did her best to deflect because he's drawing attention to our corner of the room. This dude straight went off about his watch, saying it cost more than our whole outfits.

Pause. Where the blue fuck did that come from firstly? Secondly, bitch you spent 300 dollars on a watch? Does that mutha fucka book appointments and shit for you? If not, you overpaid. No one was even messing with him and he just went off. Then you been messing up shit all day because you drunk and you steady drinking. He even bugged some people to get him another beer from the gas station. The fuck? No, take yo' drunk ass home and get the fuck out of my face.

Example Two: The know-it-all bitch. These bitches piss me off the worse. These are the ones quick to come over and tell someone else how to do their job but can't do it themselves. Let me focus on just one, and I'm gonna call this bitch Poodle. Why? Because the stupid ho came to work with what looked like a poodle on top of her head. First problem, bitch loves to go tell people what they did wrong on something but just the other day i got four of her orders in a row and the shit was way wrong. She been there at least a year, I just started two months ago. Every time I get one of her orders they're wrong. But she wants to talk shit. To everyone but me, which is good for her because I'm tempted to knock her wig off her head as it is. Then, she sits and talks about people. This bitch has no shape, dimples in random places on her ass, and is always in stretch pants. And I stress that she came in with what looked like a goddamn poodle on her head. And all that aside, she still wouldn't be cute. She has an obnoxious ass loud ass laugh and no home training according to those that sit by her. She belches like a man and apparently won't hesitate to fart and will get offended if someone says something to her about it. This bitch needs to choke, immediately.

Example Three: The fake bitches. I can't stand a bitch want to laugh and joke with you one day but turn her nose up at you the next. Look ho, I ain't done shit to you. Don't flip flop on me. If you gonna be cool with me, be cool. If you don't like me, keep your distance. But don't turn your nose up at me like you think you're better or something because that's the shit that will get a bitch's feelings hurt.

Understand, I don't come to work to make friends. That's just a side effect. But I don't come to work to deal with the afforementioned bullshit either. Stupid ass coworkers and the fuckery they bring make me contemplate how good I really look in orange sometimes.