Bad Roommates

Now let me start this off by saying, I don't need a roommate. All my bills are paid by me, I don't really require the help. But sometimes you decide to be nice and help a person out, and they are expected to contribute. Then you get stuck with the roommate from hell.

pause. Little clarification, I have a one bedroom apartment. That's all I need. Moving this dude in is not convenient. I did it because he had nowhere else to go. But almost immediately we have problems.

First off, I like to drink. I have become quite fond of wine in particular. But any alcohol in my house is expected to still be there when I want it. First thing this bitch does is drink whole bottles of my wine. Oh hell the fuck no. Then, this bastard eats up all my cookie crisp, and yes, I'm pissed about that. i bought that for my specific craving. It needs to be there when I want it. Moving on, all of a sudden, my living room stinks, which is where he stays. I realized that this is because this bitch ain't done laundry. Not to mention the first week he was there he didn't seem to understand that I have a fully functioning shower.

Double pause. Why the fuck do I have to tell a grown ass man to take a mutha fuckin shower? This nigga is 32 years old. Bitch, take a fucking shower. Put soap on a rag and make it meet your ass. You are too old not to understand that you stink if you don't bathe, fuckwad.

Next thing, I don't run a fucking hotel. This is my house in which everything is in my name and paid by me. I have a simple rule to follow. The only person who fucks or gets any sexual contact inside my home is me. That is my undisputed domain. I shouldn't really have had to tell this simple fuckton this, but apparently I did. Last night, I get home, and he in the shower with his little male friend. Oh fuck that. I have fucked people up for less. Then you tell me you didn't break my rule? Yeah alright, enjoy not having company for the very, and I do mean very short time you are here.

How the fuck do you move in with someone and at every turn inconvenience them and then wonder why the fuck I'm looking at you like I'm about to rip you to shreds? The fuckery is strong in this one