Ok, so let's start with example number one. I get online and this bitch with the joint Facebook account is dick riding her husband so hard all I can do is shake my head. Look here, I understand love for your husband, if that's what you do indeed have. But bitch, why the fuck are you the only one posting on the page and every fucking time you post, it's a dick ride? No one gives an iota of a fuck about your husband's sports endeavors. No one cares if y'all just got done fucking. No one cares that you're still trying to convince yourselves that you're in love. We just don't give a fuck. If you gonna dick ride your husband, stick to the literal and not the metaphorical.
Need another example? We gotta go into nerd territory so bear with me. Ever heard of fantasy football and baseball leagues? Well, there's role playing centered around wrestling. We create our characters and role play in fictional federations for fictional titles with no real meaning outside of this role play. Well, it just so happens that there's one guy, who for the sake of reference I'm just going to call Jackass. This Jackass has the most unrealistic gimmick ever thought up in wrestling. Seriously, he's a hybrid mix of Undertaker, Kane, and Marvel characters. He's a total mark for CM Punk and the Miz but has the nerve to call others for modeling their characters after their favorites. He is the biggest dickwad on the scene. He has a god complex and an inferiority complex at the same time. This leads him to take unnecessary shots at the people that are, you know, better than him. Fine, whatever. Who the fuck cares? Unfortunately, Jackass has made roleplaying his entire life. He brought politics in role play.
Pause. Ok, there were some politics before him, but he perfected the mutha fuckin art of politics. How the fuck do we have backstage politics that rival the actual sport we're modeling after? Because he's a dick, that's why. And what's worse, he has way too many dick riders and now people are wondering why the scene is dying out. The vets who've been on this particular scene longer than him don't like him. It's not that they're jealous, it's just that he sucks the fun out of the game. People dick ride him because he's done so much to establish his federation and kill off the others. Even when he's clearly in the wrong, they dick ride. Dude, it's role playing. Why the fuck are you dick riding in role playing? This is a game, folks. It's not supposed to be serious. We don't get paid for this shit. Get off the dick. Trust me, life in role playing is a lot easier when everyone isn't trying to ride the same dick.
Dick riders just irk the hell out of me. And do you ever notice dick riders always ride the dick of someone that is a complete and utter idiot? They take everything the person says as words of wisdom when in reality, they're a moron. These people dick ride so hard they might as well literally jump on the dick and scream the person's name. Fuck yo' heterosexuality. If you dick riding this hard on a lame, you need to rethink what you define yourself as. And sadly, some of the hardest dick riders are men who claim to be straight.
Pause. If you're so straight, why the blue fuck can you not get off this other dude's nuts? Whether its in role playing, sports, or life in general, no one man holds all the answers and generally speaking, men can be short sighted and some are just outright stupid. Damn, if you must dick ride, at least find a big dick to ride that actually knows what it's doing.......see, now your mind just went back in the gutter. Keep up, damn it, we're still being metaphorical here. For the most part anyway. If you didn't keep up, what that meant was, find someone with half a brain to follow if you can't lead yourself. Dumbass.
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