Ok, now if you look at the title, you might think I'm saying these are bad things. No, these titles are not the fuckery. It's the lack of understanding of these terms that is the fuckery. I need bitches and hoes to know their place. Now, if you mess with someone ignant like me, you've heard these terms. Need a break down? Let's go, and this will be complete with things you don't do.
Jump offs: You serve one sole purpose, and you very rarely serve it. You might only serve it once. That purpose is to fuck. Plain and simple. You are that one that is called to smash one good time and you probably never hear from me again. You were only good for that purpose.
Cutty buddy: Like jump offs, you serve one purpose. That is also to fuck. What makes you different is that you are a regular. You must be pretty damn good in bed to get this title, but understand, this is all there is. No conversation that isn't related to sex. We may not see each other in daylight. Your purpose is to fuck when time allows and to do so often and without strings.
Friends with benefits/fuck buddies: These titles are interchangeable. You are a lot like the cutty buddy. The difference, you're actually a friend. You can have conversations and you just happen to screw regularly when it's convenient. You, unlike the previous two, can be seen in public. Most won't know anything is amiss because you are a friend or buddy who just happens to fuck behind closed doors. You don't get to question or get jealous, and you step down when there's a new boyfriend/girlfriend
boyfriend/girlfriend #: Ok, this one requires a little more explanation. Ok, you might get a little happy because you have a title. You're a boyfriend or girlfriend. But you have a number attached to that title. This is a bit tricky. There's a priority with you. So let's make this simple. If you are boyfriend/girlfriend #1 you have the highest priority. You have all the rights and privileges of a boyfriend/girlfriend. Downside, you probably don't know there are others. However, you can do everything because you're the main one. You get to ask questions about whereabouts, who calls and texts. You get first priority on my time. However, if you are boyfriend/girlfriend #2 or higher, you know there are others and you need to know your place in line. You're not #1. You should limit your questioning and demands. You do get time, but in order. You probably have a designated day or days. Or a signal that I'm with the numbers ahead of you. Know yo' mutha fuckin' role. Your job is to pick up the slack of what #1 isn't doing. If you have this title, you are known. You are seen with me in daylight. Unless it's somewhere #1 might go. In which case, you know how to act in public. Number 1 doesn't get to know of our relationship. Any of the other numbers, who gives a fuck? If they have a number other than 1 then they know what's up.
Now here's where the fuckery begins. Don't cross your boundaries. You know what you are. If you only ever hear from someone late at night, probably at like two in the morning and it's always about sex, you are a cutty buddy. You get only booty calls and if you start it then accept it. Don't try to go through my phone. That will get yo' dumb ass slapped. Don't ask me where I been or why I only call or come see you late at night. Bitch, you're a cutty buddy. Know your role and shut the fuck up.
If you got it one time and never heard from a person again, assuming this occurred shortly after meeting a person, probably within a few days, guess what, you're a jump off. You were needed to solve the issue for the moment and go one about your business. If you don't hear back the next day or two, keep it pushing. Don't call or text me asking when you're going to see me again. You're not. You're a jump off.
If you fall under friends with benefits/fuck buddy, understand the words friends or buddy in that. Play your part. If you want more, make sure there are not boyfriends or girlfriends in the way. But also understand it's highly unlikely you'll progress to the next stage.
Boyfriends/girlfriends with #s, know your number damn it. I can't stress this enough. Now if your goal is to become number 1, you have to blow the current number 1 out of the water. This is not the most likely scenario. Number 1 is the one that I have stronger feelings for. Number 1 has to fuck up royally or just become boring and useless. Don't actively step above your damn number. I will let you know when you've progressed to a higher level. If you're impatient, it's better to break it off because you never know how long you'll be number 2 or 3.
I hate when people over step their bounds. It irks me. And when I'm single I'm bound to have one in most of these categories. Overstepping bounds is how people get cut off and discarded. If you fit into a role and you know it, stay the fuck in it. The fuckery that is a dumbass trying to step up from cutty buddy to boyfriend/girlfriend is not amusing. It pisses me off. You're a cutty buddy for a reason. You're a jump off or a FWB for a reason. Learn it, know it, deal with it, and shut the fuck up.
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