Take your 180 ass on somewhere.

Seems like we got a new voice up in this bitch. I know you're used to Dre, but I thought I'd come in and speak my piece off and on about the fuckery that I see. Before we kick this shit off, I'm Fujin- as in the Mortal Kombat character who debuted in MK4.

You know those friends you've been down with since your school days or even those friends you been talking to for the last five to eight years? Yeah, them. You do everything together from clubbing to Skyping to even flirting with the opposite (or same, whatever your tastes) sex together.

These people are supposed to be your best friends and you couldn't ask for a better group to be closer to. Then, time passes and all kinds of excellent things and people come into your life. You ain't forgot about that same group you ran through the halls and beat the shit out of stuntin'-ass niggas with. In fact, you try to bring your new life into the fold because you don't forget where you come from. Where's the fuckery, you ask?

The fuckery is how motherfuckers start turning on yo' ass out the blue and for the stupidest of fucking reasons. These people wanna leech the goddamn joy out of yo' life because they don't wanna see you uplifted and chillin'. These people fall into two categories: either they're miserable themselves and wanna bring you down or they're also happy but wanna see you down and out.

Eleven times out of ten, I've dealt with mostly miserable-ass people who wanna bring you down. Example? I got one.

Here's one that I remember experiencing. Some six years ago, this little pencil-dick, scrawny-ass nigga just decided to kick up some beef out of nowhere with my older brother, who's also my best friend that I've known for literally half my life. When I get wind of the shit, I just decided to stand back and see if these fools are gonna duke it out and be done with it.

Nope. For the sake of this post, we just gonna refer to this nigga as Curtis, because he a mutha fuckin snitch. What does Curtis do? Curtis blows up my phone one day while I'm in class and when I finally call him back, he starts going on about talking about "fuck that nigga" and how I need to ditch him.

Pause. I've known said big brother since the very first day I stepped onto my old middle school grounds and while he's a complete arse and has given me reasons many times over to ditch his ass, he has always been there for me and proud of every one of my accolades. Curtis? This nigga had something to say about my first higher learning institution being a university instead of the community college damn near every motherfucker and his mama in my area run to after graduation. Then he had the nerve to ask me who had been the better friend. If you must ask this question in the hopes the answer is yourself, then you must not be the fantastic support system you want people to think you are. Now, I've moved on from what Curtis tried to pull but it's still the principle of the thing.

What irks me even more are people who are happy and basically stop wantin' to fuck with you because you're happy that you've achieved something you sought out or found a new partner. Even more so when that person is supposed to be your damn best friend and they act like you've poisoned their most cherished pet or some shit and quit talking to you out of the blue when you were talking like normal days and hours before. Normally, I'd be that person who asks "What the hell I do that was so damn bad you don't even have two words to say to me anymore?" Now, I'm not even gonna give myself a headache about it because if I know I haven't done shit to you, then there's no need for me to click out and I save myself some drama. On the other side of that coin, this could be because that friend might be getting ready to let something come between your bond and just wanna project that shit onto you. What bothers me about this type of fuckery is that your friends (this goes triple for bests) should be the happiest fuckers out of everyone for you if something good has happened in your life.

I forgot about this category: the "friends" who take the side of someone you introduced to your circle rather than the person who introduced that individual when the two get into a conflict and proceeds to take the word of the former over that of the latter as pure gospel truth. There's two sides to every story and for you to just blatantly ignore what your friend has to say is complete and utter bullshit.

The moral of the story, folks?

If you fall into any of these categories, you are fake as fuck and need to get the fuck lost. Make way for real niggas/bitches and please remove yourself from my sight.